sex, lies &...4. blackberry

Ash: Shubby Doo. You! Left Lagos without saying goodbye
Shubby Doo: Sorry sweetie. How now?
Ash: I'm good. So now I find out that you're a baaaaaaaaaaaaad girl. Interesting ;) Now you must tell
Shubby Doo: Rules say just the score o! Besides you know I'm an angel
Ash: Angels barely get 100. I'm on 335 so I wanna know about your score
Shubby Doo: Crap, yours is lower than mine... o lawdy! :S
Ash: Yeah yeah just tell
Shubby Doo: How about you first?
Ash: You know I will tell you but you on ther other hand are the wild card!!!
Shubby Doo: LOL...ok maybe I was little naughty but I'm still so nice!!! ;)

So I’m wondering whether to lie or keep quiet... besides if I lie, the numbers won't add up and that means more explanations. Silence is best I think... definitely going the strong silence route... silence is that one thing that is so fragile that saying it breaks it.

But I do plan to have a little fun with him. You see his inquisition (on predominantly my sexual exploits) is because this turned up on my blackberry yesterday night… I read it and decided to play along so I tallied up my dues and I changed my status accordingly.

Feel free to have a go... and let me know your score!

This is fun to do. Just read the 'offence' and if you've done it, you owe that fine. You don't have to confess your answers, just the amount of your fine.
NOTE fines to be added once, not for how ever many times you have done it....
Put in your profile My fine is £XX (whatever amount is!)

01. Smoked weed -- £10
02. Did acid or pills -- £5
03. Ever had sex at church -- £25
04. Woke up in the morning & didn't know the person who was next to you -- £40
05. Had sex with someone on MySpace/Facebook/Bebo etc -- £25
06. Had sex for money -- £100
07. Ever had sex with a Puerto Rican -- £20
08. Vandalised something -- £20
09. Had sex on your parents' bed -- £10
10. Beat up someone -- £20
11. Been jumped -- £10
12. Cross dressed -- £10
13. Given money to stripper -- £25
14. Been in love with a stripper -- £20
15. Kissed someone who's name you didn't know -- £0.10
16. Hit on some one of the same sex while at work -- £15
17. Ever drive and drank -- £20
18. Ever got drunk at work, or went to work while still drunk -- £50
19. Used toys while having sex -- £30
20. Got drunk, passed out and don't remember the night before -- £20
21. Went skinny dipping -- £5
22. Had sex in a pool -- £20
23 Kissed someone of the same sex -- £10
24. Had sex with someone of the same sex -- £20
25. Cheated on your significant other -- £10
26. Masturbated -- £10
27. Cheated on your significant other with their relative or close friend -- £20
28. Done oral -- £5
29. Got oral -- £5
30. Done / got oral in a vehicle while it was moving -- £25
31. Stole something -- £10
32. Had sex with someone in jail -- £25
33. Made a nasty home video or took pictures -- £15
34. Had a threesome -- £50
35. Had sex in public -- £20
36. Been in the same room while someone was having sex --£25
37. Stole something worth over more than a hundred quid -- £20
38. Had sex with someone 10 years older -- £20
39. Had sex with someone ten years younger -- £25
40. Been in love with two people or more at the same time-- £50
41. Said you love someone but didn't mean it -- £25
42. Went streaking -- £5

How much do u owe?

I owe £430... damn!!!!... Actually I'm going to reduce it to £405... I didn't meet them via fb so fb doesnt count jare!

Ash: I'm still wating oooooooooo!
Shubby Doo: LOL. Night Ash
Ash: Sweet dreams

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sex, lies &...3. chaos

This is a hilarious... while I 100% support Baba Suwe's beloved's mantra of ‘you gats to give, to receive’... I can't stop laughing at his response.

When I get up off the floor and the tears subside I might try and decode what Baba Suwe says here for the non yorubas... although most of the rest of this clip is sub-titled, the classic bits of his rant are not... which is great shame. Like I said I might try but as doing so will most likely cause me to collapse in a fit of laughter again, I can make no promises =)

What I will say is one has to respect him for how he sticks to his guns with respect to what he regards as a gross act of foreplay... I doubled over as he kept repeating similar words to those sang by Meatloaf... ‘I can do anything for love but I won't do that’... but his sentiments are an antonym to those of the song... LOL.

What Baba Suwe's girl wanted: Head.

Resulting chaos: Baba Suwe started ranting and raving; basically, saying ‘hell no’.... in the end there was no sex that night as both of them tried to make their respective points on the matter.

Moral: There is a line that one should never be forced to cross to please another.

Baba Suwe, let katakata burst jo... norring do you jare... I support your theory o! (not this particular one sha)... but I do support the idea behind it… one should never agree to do something, sexually, that makes one uncomfortable for another.

Speaking of chaos... I will take this opportunity to do ‘2 truths and 1 lie’... I was tagged by Doug. No, I will not be tagging any others or pasting the rules here... yes, I do know that it may be unwise to forego the rules or break the chain... & yes, I also understand that by purposely doing so, I may spurn the universe's wrath. Will it dash me a hard slap of ‘the butterfly effect’ for my disobedience?….who knows… but what I do know is that, for this, I am choosing not to give into any notion based on an unrealistic sensitive dependence. So I post this in the hope that the flapping wings of that butterfly that has just taken flight, halfway across the world, will not result in a tornado in my life; as these scenarios can themselves, already, be deemed as salacious or perhaps even scandalous. Thankfully, I can say they have been rarity in my life.

Case 1.
What a girl wanted: To suprise her boyfriend... so I once decided to turn up at his house, using the set of keys he had cut for me. I just wanted to see him as we had been going through another rough patch... basically, his complaint was we didn't see each other often enough. As I snuck out of my parents place and disappeared off their radar, I couldn't help smiling to myself... the thought never crossed my mind that he would be anything other than happy to see me.

Resulting chaos: I caught him in bed with another woman... I stayed there, silent, for what seemed like an age as my mind screamed ‘not again, not again’. When, I woke them up, he stupidly tried to convince me that it wasn’t what I was thinking… then the madness ensued.

Moral: Stop flogging a dead horse because a leopard can't change its spots... (& no the moral of the story for the guys isn't 'do not cut keys to your place for your girlfriend').

Case 2.
What a girl wanted: To get her groove on… so I drank a glass of double Remy Martin & Coke when I was out with a guy I was seeing… then I started sipping on a second glass but left it, unfinished, when it was time to leave the bar. This I did as I was coming to the end of the course of prescribed amphetamines which I had completely forgotten I had taken earlier that morning.

Resulting chaos: I passed out and woke up with the hangover from hell, in a hotel room. I was completely starkers; sporting only the vaguest flashbacks (but no real memory) of the night before.

Moral: Don’t EVER drink while taking drugs... prescribed or otherwise.

Case 3.
What a girl wanted: Love… even the tainted kind... so I let a married man slip his hand inside my bra as my friend drove. When we got to his place to drop him off, I wasted no time in jumping out of the car after he offered to take me home as I lived nearby. I followed him inside, upstairs and into the bedroom to get his car keys.

Resulting chaos: I had an affair with a married man and ended up becoming a home wrecker; he left her for me... only to break my heart later.

Moral: What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder (Mark 10:9).

Which is my lie?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

*UPDATED on 07/02/2009*... specifically to hold off the two hell hounds at my heels (i.e. my dearest Afrobabe and the lovely Avartsy)… the answer is now below in inviso text:

Answer: Case 3 is the lie (truth is I told 2 truths followed by one lie… so I am not really a rule breaker afterall ;-P)

I never had any sort of an affair with Serb. I’ve never seen him since that night we dropped him off. I did hear that at the time he was trying to ‘cop a feel’, his loving wife had left for London to give birth to his 2nd child... *shakes head & sighs*... may that never be my portion.

I hope and pray that the only married man that I will ever follow into the bedroom will be mine. AMEN.

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