child of a dream

I was going to call him ‘Iskandar al-Akbar’…but I cannot. He did not conquer my world…not even half of it. So his name here is simply Spartan but he is the stuff of my personal legend.

When I met Spartan, I was shattered; completely spent. I had finished dating Mohammed Luridness… but he wouldn’t let go. I laugh now but kai!... that Luridness boy showed me!

Spartan trained me to use superior weaponry and strategy to protect my heart. He showed me that the power to do this was one that was actually well established within me (big shout out to my Ma'a here!).

Spartan also enriched my heart by showing me that my capability to love was not something I had lost. He stimulated my spirit and captured my imagination by opening me up again to the many possibilities yet to come my way. Surprisingly, he asked for nothing in return. Yes o!... a normal naija bloke. He is very real... I promise you that I didn’t just magic him (does that even make sense?!) out from nowhere.

Most importantly, Spartan taught me to ‘be’ again without fear of loss. At the time when I most needed it he became my solace. He was someone that I cherished completely.

Let me go back a little in time…to explain my state of mind. To illustrate why being with Spartan was so bloody marvellous; I have to show you the contrast, with what had been, with Luridness.

I started dating Luridness when I was 17. He was 22.
His was Hausa. I was Yoruba.
I’d just dropped physics as I was no longer interested in medicine. He was studying to become a doctor.
His family liked me (or so he said). Mine were indifferent to him (actually my mother abhorred him).

I grew up with his love. So I believed that my love for him was real.

Thinking back now...ours was a comedy of love (albeit tragic for me).

He would complain he hadn’t seen me.
From boarding school, I carry my legs go see am.

He would complain I was still at his place.
No wahala… God dey… I remove myself commot go back school.

Then it stopped being funny and started to hurt...

I found out Luridness had cheated. We broke up.
He pleaded. Time passed. We got back together.

All was well with us until I fell asleep in Luridness arms and I had ‘the dream’. In my dream within a dream, my joy was real. In this future... I stood happily with Reverie at my side.

Hmmm…was this was an omen?…pah!

Then I started to feel guilty about ‘the dream’ because I read somewhere that our dreams are our desires as unconscious expressions. I told myself it meant nothing... except that everytime I thought about ‘the dream’, time whispered ‘shhh... patience child, you’ll see’. But I was caution’s child; someone naturally daunted at any idea that I could successfully take hold of one of life's blissful bait. I dismissed ‘the dream’ and chose to stay in the here & now with Luridness.

Meanwhile, he had other plans…ones that did not include me. I started to suspect that Luridness was cheating again but I chose not to act rashly without proof.

Inevitably, the arguments started…

Shubby Doo: That is not what you said before. Why are you making out like I just imagined this out of thin air?!
Luridness: Investigator! Shubby Doo has come again o! Honestly there is nothing. It is just in your head!
Shubby Doo: It doesn’t make sense. Haba, I’m not completely stupid.

Ha!!! I think I was. My normal intelligence failed me as I accepted one disappointment after another…

I invited him to my graduation to celebrate my success and to meet my folks.
He called the day before to say he wouldn’t be coming.

Sometimes he didn’t call. So I wouldn’t call.
Then he would call just to blast me for not calling. Eh?!!!

One night he called to say he had crashed his car…completely wrote it off. He failed to add he had been carrying about his new girlfriend at the time.

I found out Luridness had cheated. We broke up.
He pleaded. Time passed. We got back together.

I am ashamed to say I tolerated things that I don’t normally...
I am ashamed to say I dammed well let Luridness drive me to the edge of madness.

One day I looked in the mirror and I didn’t like who was staring back at me…being with him was turning me into a crazy woman… ‘olorun ma je!’ Ladies, when you no longer recognise yourself as you…it is time to leave.

I prayed for strength. I prayed for indisputable proof so I would not weaken in my resolve to let go. I got it…he had two other girlfriends.

I broke it off again.

First Mohammed Luridness’ mother wrote me a letter. She apologised for his behaviour. She had thought I’d be her daughter-in-law. She was sorry it was not to be.

Then Mohammed Luridness’ step sister called me…who was I dating? I should give her brother another chance.

Then Mohammed Luridness’ half sister sent me IM…her brother was still in love with me…how far?!

Meanwhile Mohammed Luridness was still doing his own rubbish to wind me up…

I said don’t call. Luridness would call.
I said don’t text. Luridness would text.
I said leave me alone. Luridness would turn up at my flat at 1am.

Then one day he called me to tell me that he’d gotten someone pregnant. The stupid idiot actually opened his mouth to say it was my fault…if I had gotten back with him it would not have happened. I laughed out loud. I said he needed to turn to God.

I called his cousin…I told her to warn him well well…I wanted him out of my life.
She talked to him…no joy. She told his mother.

Mohammed Luridness’ mother sent me an e-mail. As her son she loved him but she told me I should not be afraid to cut him off.

I tried.

He would still call with unknown or withheld numbers. The one I hated was when turned up to my flat at the dead of night… if something happened to him as he drove recklessly to mine they would say that I was doing juju for him…one that was so strong that he put me before his child…Hell No!!!

His games exhausted me…yes, my fault…as an amateur I should have known the weakness of my hand and run screaming from the table.

He ravaged my heart and left me feeling void … yes, my fault… I chose to look straight into the eyes of Medusa.

It had to stop….I prayed. Hard! God gifted me with Spartan.

Luridness found out about Spartan...he couldn't believe that I had traded up for better looking and younger model... it dwarfed him. He kept trying but eventually he left me alone. Actually saying that he still tried to get in touch last year… I told him ‘never call me or text me again’. His reply was ‘what is wrong with you …ok no probs. I won’t’. I thought to myself ‘ode olodo oshi!’.

Anyway... back to better thing jare...

4 years after I dreamt it, ‘the dream’ came true. …I was at a family wedding in Lagos. I was laughing and taking pictures with the bride, and then suddenly it felt like I was experiencing déjà vu... I turned and I saw Reverie at my side. It was surreal (still is whenever I think about it)...but as caution’s child I was too scared to completely embrace ‘the dream’ which had revealed Reverie ...as what exactly?!

Reverie (whom I was going to call McDreamy... shabby idea abi?) and I became very good family friends. He just refused to let me disappear inside myself. If he heard I was in town he would just turn up to take me out. He’d take me to the beach, barbecues, parties etc…No wasn’t an option. To be honest, I welcomed it. I had few female friends I trusted in Las Gidi and I was wary of hanging out with male friends. With Reverie, I felt secure in the fact that because we were family friends I wouldn’t hear any stupid gist about me.

One New Years Eve, Reverie invited me to his dinner party at Ikoyi. We were waiting for all the guests to arrive at dinner. Then I heard someone say ‘the preacher’. I turned to see Spartan arrive with his brother. They had just come from church. He sat down and said very little. Instantly I liked his calmness…plus he was tall and very good looking…haba, I’m not blind...the guy has a body of a god…okay not quite but his does closely resemble the bodies of the Spartans in the film in 300…

Anyway… knowing that some Naija guys ‘like to feel’ too much, I simply said hello when introduced and then continued trying to have a conversation with Wole Ray who was an old work colleague. This in itself was funny exercise because Wole Ray was slightly tipsy…correction…he was very much inebriated. I was thinking to myself ‘how?... hasn’t he just come from church too?’, when Spartan tried to join in. I’m not very good with new people….I prefer to watch and listen first…so I disengaged and after a while I excused myself and disappeared outside to watch the fireworks.

From the dinner party Reverie, I and co went to Tangiers. Reverie had to dropped someone off so he arranged to meet us later but in the meantime he told me that Spartan would take me and two others to Bacchus. This was in the days before all roads... it was well before the actualisation of 6 degrees north…

Anyway... when we were about to enter the club I felt his hand on my waist...hmmm....

I went upstairs and was lucky enough to find a seat next to some girlfriends. I sat down, happy at the thought that I no longer had to balance on 4 inch heels.

Sometime during the night I noticed that Spartan kept returning to stand next to me.

Spartan: are you ok?
Shubby Doo: yes thanks
Spartan: do you want to dance?’
Shubby Doo: no thanks
Spartan: what would you like to drink?’
Shubby Doo: champagne or a whiskey & coke

He brought back both…hmmm...

He offered me the glass and as I reached for it, he took my hand and kissed it...hmmm...

I expected him to leave again but he didn’t. This dude just stayed by my side. From my seat, I turned to look up at him…he looked straight into my eyes and sparks ignited…yawah!

Soon it was time to go home…

Spartan: Can I take you home?
Shubby Doo: Thank you but no.
Spartan: Why not?
Shubby Doo: I don’t know you. Plus my mother always told me to make sure I returned back home with whomever I went out with. I came with Reverie.
Spartan: I see. Ok. No problem.

Spartan went to speak to Reverie. Then, without a goodbye, he got in his car and drove off.

We left then too but on the way back home, through my haze, I noticed another car was following us. My first thought was ‘armed robbers’…why hadn’t I insisted on going back home early… I started praying. Then the other car pulled up to my side of the car...abeg why my own side?

At first I continued to face my front...then I turned and looked out of the window. It was Spartan.

He smiled.
I smiled back.
He laughed.
I laughed too.

Reverie wound down my window, leant over, said ‘guilder’, signalled forward and then proceeded to drive off. Guilder ke?... WTF?!!! (abeg which one of una sabi this yeye ‘man talk’ because im meaning pass me).

Reverie drove us back. ‘Give me a minute and I will walk you home’, Reverie started to say but he was interrupted by a presence at the door; it was Spartan. He had followed us back.

I started to smile.

I was so conscious of myself that I was unprepared for the moment Spartan stole a kiss from me when everybody else had disappeared from the living room... it was the breif but sweet... suddenly my knees felt weak...

Alone again... I took a seat to steady myself.

Suddenly Reverie re-appeared and told me he was just stepping out.... as he opened the door to leave he simply said ‘Spartan wants to talk to you’. I looked up again but this time Spartan was now stood in front of me, smiling...

That is how and when I started ‘on the road to Sparta’… starting in Lagos, we meandered through London, travelled to Europe and then headed back to Nigeria.

It turned out to be one of my sweetest journeys…during which Spartan carefully nurtured me underneath his splendid sun.

In turn, I flourished ;-)