Wednesday, 9 July 2008

child of a dream

I was going to call him ‘Iskandar al-Akbar’…but I cannot. He did not conquer my world…not even half of it. So his name here is simply Spartan but he is the stuff of my personal legend.

When I met Spartan, I was shattered; completely spent. I had finished dating Mohammed Luridness… but he wouldn’t let go. I laugh now but kai!... that Luridness boy showed me!

Spartan trained me to use superior weaponry and strategy to protect my heart. He showed me that the power to do this was one that was actually well established within me (big shout out to my Ma'a here!).

Spartan also enriched my heart by showing me that my capability to love was not something I had lost. He stimulated my spirit and captured my imagination by opening me up again to the many possibilities yet to come my way. Surprisingly, he asked for nothing in return. Yes o!... a normal naija bloke. He is very real... I promise you that I didn’t just magic him (does that even make sense?!) out from nowhere.

Most importantly, Spartan taught me to be’ again without fear of loss. At the time when I most needed it he became my solace. He was someone that I cherished completely.

Let me go back a little in time…to explain my state of mind. To illustrate why being with Spartan was so bloody marvellous; I have to show you the contrast, with what had been, with Luridness.

I started dating Luridness when I was 17. He was 22.
His was Hausa. I was Yoruba.
I’d just dropped physics as I was no longer interested in medicine. He was studying to become a doctor.
His family liked me (or so he said). Mine were indifferent to him (actually my mother abhorred him).

I grew up with his love. So I believed that my love for him was real.

Thinking back now...ours was a comedy of love (albeit tragic for me).

He would complain he hadn’t seen me.
From boarding school, I carry my legs go see am.

He would complain I was still at his place.
No wahala… God dey… I remove myself commot go back school.

Then it stopped being funny and started to hurt...

I found out Luridness had cheated. We broke up.
He pleaded. Time passed. We got back together.

All was well with us until I fell asleep in Luridness arms and I had ‘the dream’. In my dream within a dream, my joy was real. In this future... I stood happily with Reverie at my side.

Hmmm…was this was an omen?…pah!

Then I started to feel guilty about ‘the dream’ because I read somewhere that our dreams are our desires as unconscious expressions. I told myself it meant nothing... except that everytime I thought about ‘the dream’, time whispered ‘shhh... patience child, you’ll see’. But I was caution’s child; someone naturally daunted at any idea that I could successfully take hold of one of life's blissful bait. I dismissed ‘the dream’ and chose to stay in the here & now with Luridness.

Meanwhile, he had other plans…ones that did not include me. I started to suspect that Luridness was cheating again but I chose not to act rashly without proof.

Inevitably, the arguments started…

Shubby Doo: That is not what you said before. Why are you making out like I just imagined this out of thin air?!
Luridness: Investigator! Shubby Doo has come again o! Honestly there is nothing. It is just in your head!
Shubby Doo: It doesn’t make sense. Haba, I’m not completely stupid.

Ha!!! I think I was. My normal intelligence failed me as I accepted one disappointment after another…

I invited him to my graduation to celebrate my success and to meet my folks.
He called the day before to say he wouldn’t be coming.

Sometimes he didn’t call. So I wouldn’t call.
Then he would call just to blast me for not calling. Eh?!!!

One night he called to say he had crashed his car…completely wrote it off. He failed to add he had been carrying about his new girlfriend at the time.

I found out Luridness had cheated. We broke up.
He pleaded. Time passed. We got back together.

I am ashamed to say I tolerated things that I don’t normally...
I am ashamed to say I dammed well let Luridness drive me to the edge of madness.

One day I looked in the mirror and I didn’t like who was staring back at me…being with him was turning me into a crazy woman… ‘olorun ma je!’ Ladies, when you no longer recognise yourself as you…it is time to leave.

I prayed for strength. I prayed for indisputable proof so I would not weaken in my resolve to let go. I got it…he had two other girlfriends.

I broke it off again.

First Mohammed Luridness’ mother wrote me a letter. She apologised for his behaviour. She had thought I’d be her daughter-in-law. She was sorry it was not to be.

Then Mohammed Luridness’ step sister called me…who was I dating? I should give her brother another chance.

Then Mohammed Luridness’ half sister sent me IM…her brother was still in love with me…how far?!

Meanwhile Mohammed Luridness was still doing his own rubbish to wind me up…

I said don’t call. Luridness would call.
I said don’t text. Luridness would text.
I said leave me alone. Luridness would turn up at my flat at 1am.

Then one day he called me to tell me that he’d gotten someone pregnant. The stupid idiot actually opened his mouth to say it was my fault…if I had gotten back with him it would not have happened. I laughed out loud. I said he needed to turn to God.

I called his cousin…I told her to warn him well well…I wanted him out of my life.
She talked to him…no joy. She told his mother.

Mohammed Luridness’ mother sent me an e-mail. As her son she loved him but she told me I should not be afraid to cut him off.

I tried.

He would still call with unknown or withheld numbers. The one I hated was when turned up to my flat at the dead of night… if something happened to him as he drove recklessly to mine they would say that I was doing juju for him…one that was so strong that he put me before his child…Hell No!!!

His games exhausted me…yes, my fault…as an amateur I should have known the weakness of my hand and run screaming from the table.

He ravaged my heart and left me feeling void … yes, my fault… I chose to look straight into the eyes of Medusa.

It had to stop….I prayed. Hard! God gifted me with Spartan.

Luridness found out about Spartan...he couldn't believe that I had traded up for better looking and younger model... it dwarfed him. He kept trying but eventually he left me alone. Actually saying that he still tried to get in touch last year… I told him ‘never call me or text me again’. His reply was ‘what is wrong with you …ok no probs. I won’t’. I thought to myself ‘ode olodo oshi!.

Anyway... back to better thing jare...

4 years after I dreamt it, ‘the dream’ came true. …I was at a family wedding in Lagos. I was laughing and taking pictures with the bride, and then suddenly it felt like I was experiencing déjà vu... I turned and I saw Reverie at my side. It was surreal (still is whenever I think about it)...but as caution’s child I was too scared to completely embrace ‘the dream’ which had revealed Reverie what exactly?!

Reverie (whom I was going to call McDreamy... shabby idea abi?) and I became very good family friends. He just refused to let me disappear inside myself. If he heard I was in town he would just turn up to take me out. He’d take me to the beach, barbecues, parties etc…No wasn’t an option. To be honest, I welcomed it. I had few female friends I trusted in Las Gidi and I was wary of hanging out with male friends. With Reverie, I felt secure in the fact that because we were family friends I wouldn’t hear any stupid gist about me.

One New Years Eve, Reverie invited me to his dinner party at Ikoyi. We were waiting for all the guests to arrive at dinner. Then I heard someone say ‘the preacher’. I turned to see Spartan arrive with his brother. They had just come from church. He sat down and said very little. Instantly I liked his calmness…plus he was tall and very good looking…haba, I’m not blind...the guy has a body of a god…okay not quite but his does closely resemble the bodies of the Spartans in the film in 300…

Anyway… knowing that some Naija guys like to feel’ too much, I simply said hello when introduced and then continued trying to have a conversation with Wole Ray who was an old work colleague. This in itself was funny exercise because Wole Ray was slightly tipsy…correction…he was very much inebriated. I was thinking to myself ‘how?... hasn’t he just come from church too?’, when Spartan tried to join in. I’m not very good with new people….I prefer to watch and listen first…so I disengaged and after a while I excused myself and disappeared outside to watch the fireworks.

From the dinner party Reverie, I and co went to Tangiers. Reverie had to dropped someone off so he arranged to meet us later but in the meantime he told me that Spartan would take me and two others to Bacchus. This was in the days before all roads... it was well before the actualisation of 6 degrees north…

Anyway... when we were about to enter the club I felt his hand on my waist...hmmm....

I went upstairs and was lucky enough to find a seat next to some girlfriends. I sat down, happy at the thought that I no longer had to balance on 4 inch heels.

Sometime during the night I noticed that Spartan kept returning to stand next to me.

Spartan: are you ok?
Shubby Doo: yes thanks
Spartan: do you want to dance?’
Shubby Doo: no thanks
Spartan: what would you like to drink?’
Shubby Doo: champagne or a whiskey & coke

He brought back both…hmmm...

He offered me the glass and as I reached for it, he took my hand and kissed it...hmmm...

I expected him to leave again but he didn’t. This dude just stayed by my side. From my seat, I turned to look up at him…he looked straight into my eyes and sparks ignited…yawah!

Soon it was time to go home…

Spartan: Can I take you home?
Shubby Doo: Thank you but no.
Spartan: Why not?
Shubby Doo: I don’t know you. Plus my mother always told me to make sure I returned back home with whomever I went out with. I came with Reverie.
Spartan: I see. Ok. No problem.

Spartan went to speak to Reverie. Then, without a goodbye, he got in his car and drove off.

We left then too but on the way back home, through my haze, I noticed another car was following us. My first thought was ‘armed robbers’…why hadn’t I insisted on going back home early… I started praying. Then the other car pulled up to my side of the car...abeg why my own side?

At first I continued to face my front...then I turned and looked out of the window. It was Spartan.

He smiled.
I smiled back.
He laughed.
I laughed too.

Reverie wound down my window, leant over, said ‘guilder’, signalled forward and then proceeded to drive off. Guilder ke?... WTF?!!! (abeg which one of una sabi this yeye ‘man talk’ because im meaning pass me).

Reverie drove us back. ‘Give me a minute and I will walk you home’, Reverie started to say but he was interrupted by a presence at the door; it was Spartan. He had followed us back.

I started to smile.

I was so conscious of myself that I was unprepared for the moment Spartan stole a kiss from me when everybody else had disappeared from the living room... it was the breif but sweet... suddenly my knees felt weak...

Alone again... I took a seat to steady myself.

Suddenly Reverie re-appeared and told me he was just stepping out.... as he opened the door to leave he simply said ‘Spartan wants to talk to you’. I looked up again but this time Spartan was now stood in front of me, smiling...

That is how and when I started ‘on the road to Sparta’… starting in Lagos, we meandered through London, travelled to Europe and then headed back to Nigeria.

It turned out to be one of my sweetest journeys…during which Spartan carefully nurtured me underneath his splendid sun.

In turn, I flourished ;-)


UndaCovaSista 9 July 2008 at 23:34  

Awwwww. Love's young dream!
I do hope there will be a continuation of this tale, sucker for romance that i am...
I seriously think there is something in the air/water of Blogsville. Seems like everyone is either finding true love, or reminiscing about it....

UndaCovaSista 9 July 2008 at 23:36  

Oh, and just in case no one noticed....I'M FIRST!

Jay 10 July 2008 at 11:17  

Am second...thats not a bad spot

Wow this is a story and a half and its so honest and real...

We've all been there, letting people who hurt us come back and back makes the mind go ga ga

Am so glad you waited for the right man, my fav line is "Most importantly, Spartan taught me to ‘be’ again without fear of loss"

Now thats the real thing. I hope your union is blessed and your blessings multiply xxx

Afrobabe 10 July 2008 at 11:34  

This is some long ass post, will be back when i finish reading it...a whole day I assume!!!

Afrobabe 10 July 2008 at 11:49  

Awwwwwwwww, babe, I almost have tears running down my face, I wish for such ending in my life…I WANT TO FLOURISH TOO!!!..

So glad I read it all…very inspiring….that Luridness was a goat sha and didn’t deserve you at all…

Shubby Doo 10 July 2008 at 16:25  

@ UCS – lol… yes you are! *awards gold star to UCS*. Not planning a sequel. point me in the right direction cos i'm a sucker for romance 2.

@Jarrai – It does. i went ga ga…
I could never loose Spartan bcos he was never mine… don’t think he was ever meant to be. Thank you & Stay blessed 2 hun… always.

@afrobabe – see me see trouble…chai! this girl you bush small sha…how 'whole day' come be from 11:34am to 11:49am? abi you get secret superhero reading mutant powers?

lol@ long ass post…I’ll let you know that its colossal size is probably an accurate reflection of my bottom ;-P!!!

LMAO @ Luridness was a goat sha… my dear, in my mind that is tame!!!

May you flourish all the days of your life babes. I wish that for you 2

rethots 11 July 2008 at 09:56  

Ha, i doff.....

"First...Luridness’ mother wrote me a letter.....
Then...Luridness’ step sister called me.....
Then...Luridness’ half sister sent me IM...?!" -such, a close knit family.

"He ravaged my heart and left me feeling void..." -WHOA!!!

" enter the club I felt his hand on my waist...hmmm." -Suave.

" of my sweetest journeys…...carefully nurtured me underneath his splendid sun." -A timeless journey it ought.

......excellently written.

What hails thee, Shubby?

Afrobabe 11 July 2008 at 14:22  

lol...Planned to read it one paragragh at a time but the story was so sweet I didnt care if my manager was behind me jare....

kay-shawn 12 July 2008 at 15:24  

Wow! I atually came to your blog to invite you to comment on an interesting discussion on my blog but after reading about Luridness, reverie and Spartan I was mesmerized. Wonderful narration.

Enigma 13 July 2008 at 00:06  

I jealous this Spartan with his smooth moves o..

Happy for you though...

Shubby Doo 14 July 2008 at 11:31  

@rethots – They were. thanks

@afro – awww…abeg o no let that manager come face your side. Come why you never update sef?…where in Africa is Emily now? or maybe that should be which Africa is in Emily now…lol

@kay –shawn – thanks. will head over 2 yours

@enigma – smooth moves with a body to die for *shubby doo suddenly starts blushing profusely*…lol…to me he is just a really sweet person…abeg my dear no jealous anybody, I’m sure you are of the same stock (btw Spartan would never say to me you are fat!!!)

Afronuts 14 July 2008 at 14:08  

I gotta say this...


Good start
beautiful ending!

You carried 'em thru.

Afrobabe 14 July 2008 at 16:16  

lol...Been so dead busy, tot i'd update today but def wont be in the is my ceo's turn to parade around my desk...lmao...

Flourishing Florida 14 July 2008 at 16:25  

u got me confused o. n d dream, u were wit reverie abi? no spartan? but now, u r with spartan & he is rocking ur world - but not even half of it??? true true, i no understand

thanks 4 ur comment on my post. dat was really detailed

Shubby Doo 14 July 2008 at 18:58  

@ afronuts – Not sure it’s deserved but thank you

@afrobabe – ok I’m stalking your blog from now til midnight

@FFF - your story today was really good... best wishes for your intros...abeg when you get back tell us about that 1st b4 you continue the story about Missy

Shubby Doo 14 July 2008 at 19:12  

@FFF… whoops… meant to also say Sorry 2 confuse you. Here is one way of looking at it

Luridness = selfish king as per from a fairy tale/ bible story/ or history… one that conquers, reigns & plunders (i.e. exploits my love) but gives nothing back.
The dream = Reverie (which means daydream) was a sign of hope.
Despite our attraction for each other, we went out that night as family friends only. Spartan did not have to conquer me as per I welcomed him & he reigned supreme.

Does that help?!

Jaja 14 July 2008 at 19:12  

LONG post but i found I read it easily. Its dreamy too.. I dont know if its because u kept mentioning 'dream'

Reverie was at your side.
You are Cautious' child...

There is something they call this type of thing in literature, but i dont remember what it is again.

Nice one

Jaja 14 July 2008 at 19:15  
This comment has been removed by the author.
Shubby Doo 14 July 2008 at 19:16  

@jaja coming from a talent such as yourself, I’m flattered… was going to break it up into 2 parts but then I just posted it as was… a lesson for next time I guess.

Smaragd 14 July 2008 at 19:48  

I must confess i read it halfway first and came back to conclude, and ma i glad i finished! very beautiful write-up Shubby, i'm officially addicted.

continuation pls?

awwwwww @ spartan's nurturing under the sun.

Chari 14 July 2008 at 20:13  



tres impresiv...

before I start sounding liek I was paid to do this...let me start by saying I read through without skipping a line, I think this is one of the reasons I became hooked to ur blog in the first place...ur seamless writing...o How I long to write like that!

Ur biggest fan,


Chari 14 July 2008 at 20:16  

wish I had the body of Mr. Spartan...instead of having this geek body!

speaking of which...correct me if I'm wrong but reading ur work brings to mind someone with a fair skin...a beauty keyboard...disjointed eh?

I could be wrong!

Shubby Doo 14 July 2008 at 23:55  

@smaragd…a little 2 long for 1 sitting perhaps… sorry I didn’t want to dedicate a whole post to the ghastly nightmare that was Luridness.

@chari – you don wipe your tears commot? pele again. Thanks for the comment… funny I was reading doc naps', kulutempa's and a22's works & thinking I long to write like that 2…*sighs*… will make do as an engineer.

na naijaleta send you? lol...not light skinned – more of a radiant caramel complexion… beauty spots on my body (not saying where) but not my face…

pp.s I no sabi ‘black keyboard’ so oya explain yourself now now!!!

@afrobabe – 5 mins to midnight and you never post…no be laffing matter o! I wanna be 1st so UPDATE!!!

Chari 15 July 2008 at 10:40  

No at all o....It was while I was reading ur work...the picture jus cropped up was feeling silly so I pursue I said I could be wrong...Radiant caramel...fair skin...what's the degree of deviation?

Black keyboard as in what's the color of ur keyboard?

come babe did u vote for me @ b-ville Idols?

Shubby Doo 15 July 2008 at 11:07  

@lil’ chari – hmmmm… degree of deviation? my nose goes red in winter cos of the cold.

this guy, how u come send pinkpeke your song late? If say na America you dey they 4 don eject you commot!!!… 4 talent I had 2 vote 4 abbie (with a computer)… but yes, even tho I neva hia your song, I did vote for you 2 (with my phone) … shhhh! ;-)

Chari 15 July 2008 at 11:39  

lil chari? u'd be surprised...mehn...I told pinkie I had tech difficulties...that I wanted to pull out for the very same reason u gave buh she was like I should still do my best...and her persistence was what motivated me to still try

ur nose becomes red when ur cold but ur not fair thinks I got ur description a lil...

Not doin the rhumba yet gon start from teh very beginning...maybe I'll get more of an insight into you...spooky eh? funny thing is the more I read the clearer the picture becomes....even more spooky no? maybe I'll keep my findings to myself...

ablackjamesbond 15 July 2008 at 13:33  

I read this post with mixed feelings... some point n my life, i was some other point i became Spartan...

...I live my life everyday praying for two of the ladies i dated when i was 'crazy'. I hope they have forgiven me like they said. I cant stop thinking i almost messed up their lives.

I hope i didn't.

Afrobabe 15 July 2008 at 16:26  

Ok, just reading the a small voice...I updated!!!

kay-shawn 15 July 2008 at 20:16  

You can't believe that I actually read all the comments. Got hooked with your conversation with Chari, nice guy.
Anyway, just came to say thanks for the nice comments on my blog.

Shubby Doo 16 July 2008 at 16:36  

@007 dudu – Time rights all wrongs. Like you said you aren’t that guy anymore and that is what matters.

@afrobabe – finally… thank you.

sorry couldn’t help the comment about the Chinese version of events… 2 funny!

@kay-shawn – 4 a guy who steers his own blog towards the interactive, I’m surprise that you'd think I'd be surprised that you read all the comments. But you didn’t answer my key question…is there a VS in England?!!! yes? no? I NEED to know ;-)

O'Dee 16 July 2008 at 18:45  

totally love this post.
My best bits;

"when you no longer recognise yourself as you…it is time to leave"
- Yep! don't give him another chance.

"I called his cousin…I told her to warn him well well…I wanted him out of my life."
- I see u standing up 4 u.

"It had to stop….I prayed. Hard! God gifted me with Spartan."
- Stop& Pray; really impt. God always has away of getting us out of trouble.

"That is how and when I started ‘on the road to Sparta’"
- may u always have Sparta in your life.

Allied 16 July 2008 at 19:34  

WoW! ori mi wu

A Nigerian with spartan build and a good attitude?

Very rare !

lovely post

kay-shawn 16 July 2008 at 20:06  

Eh... shubby-doo. I was trying to parry that question but I couldn't run away from it. *wispering* Strictly between you and I. I didn't by the VS, I simply gave my younger sister money to get them for me. (No wonder she was saying something about her credit card) So she bought them over the Net. Anyway, the borromline was that they were genuine and the babe appreciated them.
About the exhorbitant cost.... No, never mind, i promised myself I wont ever flirt on the Net again.

Lighty 'neferet' Kopearl 16 July 2008 at 23:11  

aww this is purely beautiful.

see...i long for the day i would be writing this story.

and i am truly happy for you.

save the best for last eyy!! God saved this one for u my luv.

flourish well so i too can catch the ray of ur sun and maybe my own spartan can spot me standing under the light.

Thirty + 17 July 2008 at 11:12  

This is so sueet, when is part 2 coming o.

Here is to Spartan, *30+ raises her beverage*

BlogVille Idol 17 July 2008 at 13:28  

wow!!we are down to d final 5 on blogville idol..pls go over to our page and listen to d contestants sing pls vote and dont forget to leave us a kind comment

kay-shawn 17 July 2008 at 17:34  

Err.. knock, knock. It's only me. I'm doing a collection of the wierdest/funniest/silliest/most ineffective chat-up lines on my blog this time around. Do you have any to share? Thanks

Mz. Dee 17 July 2008 at 18:23  

awwww.. dis has gota be the sweetest love story ever!!

still waitin 4 my own to happen...

glued to ur blog!

Shubby Doo 17 July 2008 at 21:11  

@Oluwadee – Thank you. I never thought of it as standing up for myself more as an act of desperation to hold on to my sanity… simply wanted peace of mind…

you are right… God is key… to everything.

@Allied – He is o! I must admit I have shed tears of joy in his presence in the past. He never understood why… always just said 'It's nothing, I'm good' when he asked… he probably must think I’m crazy… lol

@kay-shawn - shhh ke? I’m sorry but I’m ROTFLMAO… I saw you trying to sidestep me but with VS you had no chance… oga I was always going to just block road... oshe to fi jewo (thanks for being honest)…

no long thing jo… my bros are the same with me :)

@Lighty – I read in the alchemist that the journey is as important as the destination. The first (I did with Spartan)… it was an awakening. When I reached the latter with him I realised that I stood tall in my own brilliance.

I’ve started reading your blog posts in earnest… like your chosen alias suggests… honey you are a star!!!

@30+ - What are you drinking? Iyanla BlogVille idol… You are doing a fab job as host…

I’ll say it again ‘Reggae Calypsooooooooooooooooo’… lol

@BlogVille Idol – ok, heading over

Mz Dee – Thank you and welcome 2 mine…

flawsandall 18 July 2008 at 01:20  

beautiful write up, beautiful writer, beautiful spartan..

wait.."He did not conquer my world…not even half of it. So his name here is simply Spartan but he is the stuff of my personal legend."

does that mean it did not last? :(

Kafo 18 July 2008 at 04:43  

i need to believe this


i guess love and patience are twins

Jaguda 18 July 2008 at 14:22  

good writer. i like this part,

told him ‘never call me or text me again’. His reply was ‘what is wrong with you …ok no probs. I won’t’. I thought to myself ‘ode olodo oshi!’.

naijagal 18 July 2008 at 18:45  

wow my first time here and I simply love your blog keep it up!!

Buttercup 19 July 2008 at 02:43  

awww..that was beautiful!!! thank God spartan was there to heal the wounds mohammed created.

i totally agree wit wat u said bout ladies leavin wen they cnt recognize themselves anymore...its sad that we dnt actually do that, we just keep sinkin in...

i officially luv ur blog!

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