Showing posts with label French. Show all posts
Showing posts with label French. Show all posts

Friday, 24 July 2009

la saucisse

I was 14.

On a school trip.

Somehow sex seemed to be everywhere.

The night before, we had come across soft porn on television in the hotel room. I recoiled in horror, thinking I must be in the wrong picture... only for me to look out of our balcony to see two gay men having sex on theirs.

C'est Paris. C'est la vie.

Luckily, the next day was going to be all about Euro Disney (or is it Disneyland Paris now?)... it was strictly PG13 stuff... Mickey Mouse... Minnie MouseDaffy DuckSnow white and the Seven DwarfsGoofyCinderellaBelle and the Beast… but in truth I was just excited to see Looney Tunes’ finest… Bugs Bunny

On our way to the theme park, I suddenly found my gaze drawn away from the chatter of girls around me.

I looked out of the window.

I’m not sure what I expected to see... definitely not a man driving erratically near our coach. At first I was afraid. Then I was confused. I kept wondering why he kept throwing glances at coach full of pubescent girls and laughing hysterically; the apparent cause of his bad driving.

A small gasp escaped from my lips as he took one hand off the wheel and lowered it. I knew now that it wasn’t me that was crazy, just him.

Vidya saw my expression and stopped, mid conversation. ‘Girl, what’s wrong?’, she questioned as she leaned over to nudge me. Then she was staring too. Others that had observed our abrupt silence, got up to look out of the window; only to be confronted by the same feeling of disbelief and discomfort.

Which was due to?

The simply fact that the man had whipped out his wiener… and then proceeded to knead his soft sausage... moist.

Jigger, fellers.

It was the first time I had seen one in real life… reddish/purple… swollen… & erect...

I turned my head away. My throat felt dry and tight as I swallowed hard.

At our destination, I tried to push his image to the back of my mind as we were given instructions of when and where we were to meet periodically throughout the day. Soon I was completely distracted of all thoughts that had nothing to do with fun as we hurried to queue for ride after ride; completely intent on enjoying every attraction at the theme park.

Before long, we realised it was time for lunch. After deciding where to eat, we made our way into the food counter. My nausea re-surfaced at the sight of the menu. Not one to miss a thing, Vidya started laughing as she collected her order and said ‘What up prune-face? Aren’t you going to order? Go on... I dare you’. Then just before she took a big bite out of her ready meal, she continued in her best René accent, ‘allo allo… ze flashing knobs... is zat's vot it's all about?’.

I eyed her and hissed.

Then I turned back to the counter and ordered. ‘Les frites, s'il vous plait. C'est ça’.

Hotdogs were simply off my menu…

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Wednesday, 4 March 2009

ciao

There are so many different ways to say it so I will only cover a few below:

Goodbye - English
Slán - Irish
Hwyl fawr - Welsh
Au Revoir or à bientôt - French
Auf Wiedersehen - German
Adiós or hasta la vista - Spanish
Adieus - Portuguese
Ciao or arrivederci - Italian
Yasou or andio - Greek
Näkemiin - Finnish
Dag or Tot ziens - Dutch
Hejdå - Swedish
Farvel - Danish
Żegnaj - Polish
Poka or Пока - Russian
Shalom - Hebrew
Ma'a al Salama - Arabic
Sayonara - Japanese
Zai Jian or 再见- Chinese
Paalam - Filipino
Sampai Jumpa - Indonesian
Namaste - Hindi... funny because Namaste is also the same word for hello in Hindi :-)

So I got this text message on Sunday from my razz cousin... who I am really holding back from doing a post on because it will always be one done in anger... her own is just to try and con me out of money and for that reason I haven't seen her in years... not since she begged me to give her some serious cash (which I did); only for me to realise her plan was always to abscond back to Nigeria the very same day she got it from me... no wahala sha but my own is once bitten, twice shy... *sighs*...

Anyway I got her text and I started to laugh… so much so I couldn’t stop.

Farida: Hope u are good? Just checking on u. Call me! CHAO.

ROTFLMFAO… abeg which one be chao?… kai! I want to believe that it was a slip of the finger… simply a typo… but I have learnt otherwise with her… yarning with her for 5 minutes is pure hard work… she be village girl o! but dat one no concern am because she go just dey blow her own phonetics by fire and by force.

Please why do people just continue to bastardise a language in an effort to feel among?

SMDH

What the hell was wrong with just saying o da bo?!!!

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