Friday, 24 July 2009

la saucisse

I was 14.

On a school trip.

Somehow sex seemed to be everywhere.

The night before, we had come across soft porn on television in the hotel room. I recoiled in horror, thinking I must be in the wrong picture... only for me to look out of our balcony to see two gay men having sex on theirs.

C'est Paris. C'est la vie.

Luckily, the next day was going to be all about Euro Disney (or is it Disneyland Paris now?)... it was strictly PG13 stuff... Mickey Mouse... Minnie MouseDaffy DuckSnow white and the Seven DwarfsGoofyCinderellaBelle and the Beast… but in truth I was just excited to see Looney Tunes’ finest… Bugs Bunny

On our way to the theme park, I suddenly found my gaze drawn away from the chatter of girls around me.

I looked out of the window.

I’m not sure what I expected to see... definitely not a man driving erratically near our coach. At first I was afraid. Then I was confused. I kept wondering why he kept throwing glances at coach full of pubescent girls and laughing hysterically; the apparent cause of his bad driving.

A small gasp escaped from my lips as he took one hand off the wheel and lowered it. I knew now that it wasn’t me that was crazy, just him.

Vidya saw my expression and stopped, mid conversation. ‘Girl, what’s wrong?’, she questioned as she leaned over to nudge me. Then she was staring too. Others that had observed our abrupt silence, got up to look out of the window; only to be confronted by the same feeling of disbelief and discomfort.

Which was due to?

The simply fact that the man had whipped out his wiener… and then proceeded to knead his soft sausage... moist.

Jigger, fellers.

It was the first time I had seen one in real life… reddish/purple… swollen… & erect...

I turned my head away. My throat felt dry and tight as I swallowed hard.

At our destination, I tried to push his image to the back of my mind as we were given instructions of when and where we were to meet periodically throughout the day. Soon I was completely distracted of all thoughts that had nothing to do with fun as we hurried to queue for ride after ride; completely intent on enjoying every attraction at the theme park.

Before long, we realised it was time for lunch. After deciding where to eat, we made our way into the food counter. My nausea re-surfaced at the sight of the menu. Not one to miss a thing, Vidya started laughing as she collected her order and said ‘What up prune-face? Aren’t you going to order? Go on... I dare you’. Then just before she took a big bite out of her ready meal, she continued in her best René accent, ‘allo allo… ze flashing knobs... is zat's vot it's all about?’.

I eyed her and hissed.

Then I turned back to the counter and ordered. ‘Les frites, s'il vous plait. C'est ça’.

Hotdogs were simply off my menu…

32 comments:

bumight 24 July 2009 at 05:10  

and there goes the story of how little shubby was scarred for....a moment! (was about to say - life) lol

Shubby Doo 24 July 2009 at 09:36  

@bumight - lol...my dear it lasted more than a moment o, c'est vrai quoi.

It took a couple of years before i could even look at another hotdog...I will say that hotdogs came right back on the menu when i started seriously dating ;-)

RocNaija 24 July 2009 at 13:31  

Sick people, I tell ya'

Glad you've gotten over it now though..
Or did I speak too soon?!

Tisha 24 July 2009 at 15:33  

got shocked when i was 11
saw some guy in the bush...

i have this funny thing i do
any unpleasant memory...
i forget immediately

not scared anymore
so long as i am not behind closed doors...
Hmmph!

Jayla. 24 July 2009 at 19:52  

Dude is sick sha but i started seeing hot dogs early enoght thanks to naked mad men. There was this one called Adam, dude was packinggggggg!. Heard some women used 2 screw him despite his 'mad' status

Original Mgbeke 25 July 2009 at 06:25  

Ewwwwww. Sick characters full this earth sha.
I once got flashed by a man on the train; he pulled out his 14 inches (or so it seemed) and started wanking. I'm the kinda person who can maintain an expressionless face so I looked at him, looked at his wanker and calmly looked away but internally I was DYING.

Shubby Doo 25 July 2009 at 11:55  

@roc - lol...the french or the old tosser?!

p.s
at my age seeing one that i want to see aint not big deal but everytime i think of this...it irks me!!!

@tisha - it was not his nakedness that disturbed me...it was the fact that the dude was getting off…I mean he was jerking off FOR little girls between the age of 13 and 14...that's just sick and twisted

@jayla - i hear u girl...i had seen two mad naked men in our village when i was much younger than this...always from a distance so I didn’t really see it…i just kinda felt sorry for them that they had no clothes...

ewww @ your story...now tell me… between the mad man and the women jumping them for sex cause they are packing...who is mad?!!!

@orignal mgbeke - oh no! you poor thing...there should be such a thing as a flasher alert!!! guess that defeats the purpose! no?!

Afrobabe 25 July 2009 at 12:19  

Hahahhahahahh scarring at such an early age...I on the other hand would have probably become seriously fascinated by it...and eaten all the susages I could find.*wink...

bArOquE 25 July 2009 at 14:16  

you life must have been good, i would have found it really interesting, except of course the guys on the balcony, now that would have been a nightmare for me when i was 11, maybe even now sef

Fabulo-la 26 July 2009 at 19:53  

Oh jeez...I just ate a bloody hotdog before reading thiss!!!!

arghhhhhhhhhhhhh

ibiluv 27 July 2009 at 01:24  

dude was sick-jerking off in front of kids......

nice to know you di dnot get scared for life....*wink*

Enkay 27 July 2009 at 13:10  

That's just so sick!

Lots of crazy people out there!

SOLOMONSYDELLE 27 July 2009 at 15:08  

hmm, confess....you now eat hot dogs, shebi? *wink*

Shubby Doo 27 July 2009 at 19:07  

@solomonsydelle - lets just say i like to play with my food!!! ;-)

@enkay - agreed

@ibiluv - truly sick

@fabulo-la - lol...had one too yesterday at the cinema whilst watching harry potter...it went down a treat

@baroque - sweetie you dont do man love?!

p.s
life was good...no real complaints...grateful to God and my folks for that

@doll - :)

@afrobabe - hmmm....what makes me think you would like the latin american 'longaniza' or the mexican 'chorizo' or perhaps even the peppery spanish 'salchicha'!!!

Now the real question is have you ever tried anything like the finnish 'mustamakkara' (black sausage)...oya confess!!!...LMAO

Have you any wool 28 July 2009 at 11:46  

Guess the sick guy desperately needed someone to think it was big. Glad you can eat hot dogs now

Lolia 29 July 2009 at 02:47  

That's just ewwww...Like for real...Perverted people all around. Le sigh.

How have you been Shubby dear?

ShonaVixen 29 July 2009 at 10:04  

Lol @ Afro...gurl u're crazy..LOL!!!!
Sorry Shubby to have been put off hot dogs..but m sure now you do happily munch on hotdogs, with mustard and ketchup just the way they're meant to be eaten..LOL!!!

Tigeress 29 July 2009 at 20:29  

that is some nasty shii. the cops shld have been called on him- i'm sure that had to be illegal. I've actually seen a sitting in the drivers seat wanking his crank. I still get flash back.

Lighty 'neferet' Kopearl 6 August 2009 at 20:55  

BLESS UR LITTLE HEART. TO BE SO YOUNG AND TO SEE SO MUCH IN ONE TRIP. DATZ CRAZY THO.


HOWZ U.

Shubby Doo 6 August 2009 at 21:25  

@HUAW - lol... i can o!

@lolia - i'm fine thanks. u?

@shona - very happily...those are the best kind!

@tigress - isnt it just a hard image to shake...ewww *shivers*

@solomonsydelle - hopefully i'll get to doing one soon

@lusciousRon - lol...well put

@buttercup - i know! his actions were so 'hell to the no'...old dirty bastard's jiggeration so wasnt cool!

@lighty - awww thanks...are u back to blogging? u've been missed o!

Miss Definitely Maybe 18 August 2009 at 22:32  

That man was sick
jeez I might have been scarred for life
but then again I love sex
but still that was sick

Buttercup 22 August 2009 at 17:41  

Update, s'il vous plaît! Hope you're good?

Mz. Eniola 23 August 2009 at 17:59  

omg! ughhhhh i can only imagine hw horrified u wer :(

Mz. Eniola 23 August 2009 at 18:02  

omg! ughhhhh i can only imagine hw horrified u wer :(

Shubby Doo 24 August 2009 at 07:30  

@Miss DM - me too i love sex...the good kind sha...one minute - no foreplay brothers can step aside jare! lol

p.s
you're back?!!! yay!

omo calabar - you're back too?!!! double yay!

@buttercup - i hear ya...will get to it...soon-ish

@mz eniola - it shocked me to my core

tobenna 3 September 2009 at 12:40  

Damn...
So that's how Paris really is?
I knew I shoulda gone there before marriage!
What you saw though, especially the depraved driving fool, is enough to scar anyone for life!

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