I haven't been here in a while...my silent refuge. My hideaway for rationalisation, refocus and clarity that allowed for my evolution. Endless virtual space to unload.
‘Search me, O God, and know my heart;
test me and know my anxious thoughts.
See if there is any offensive way in me,
and lead me in the way everlasting.’
Psalm 139: 23-24
Yet, I stay here still. I should leave... just walk away... but as I'm unsure of myself, my soul remains bound to its shell; confined. Am I only free to expand myself within boundaries that have been created? In truth all things change so perhaps it is my efforts to stay the same that have limited me. Perhaps that is why a love that I had craved so much was simply unable to break down my walls and complete me.
Sometimes I wished I had not dreamed this dream so hard... perhaps then I would not have felt so lost when Reverie became reality. Till today, I have no idea why I stood silent, like a dumb mute, with no answers to his gestures. My ghost whispers contemptuously ‘ghost-hacked humans are so pathetic, it's a shame’. I can only sigh in agreement as I tell out my soul.
All I want to do now is pretend it was just a simulated experience. False, like a dream. Yet it happened. My fantasy was real. My ghost whispers sadly ‘we weep for the blood of a bird, but not for the blood of a fish. Blessed are those with a voice’. I cannot weep because I do not know how I lost mine, yet I bleed.
I dare not dream anymore. My voice is gone. My actions seem to echo those of a coward. But I tried. I swear I tried... so much so that even distance could not come between us. My ghost whispers mockingly ‘no matter how far a jackass travels, it will never return a horse’. My thoughts shift suddenly to Italy. Alone in Milan with the lure of speed as my only friend. Life raced by me that September weekend but somehow it failed to take my hopes with it.
Just a whisper. I hear it in my ghost.
Reverie.
Today, again, he is close by. However, today is the first time in a long time, that I have chosen not to reach out. I do so, not to punish him but myself; should he not notice. Perhaps this will finally prove to me that when he looks at me, he sees in me only golem; an absence of form yet to be shaped from mud. Yet do I not already know this to be untrue? Simply because he helped fix my fragmented form. He stopped my heart's demise and then reconstructed my being using the clays of hope on the river banks of my tears. Happily, I morphed. I became the child of a dream. I laugh as I look up to the heavens, not in wonderment but with a certainty that ‘life perpetuates itself through diversity and this includes the ability to sacrifice itself when necessary’. Yet when I look within, inside my Section 9, I have no idea of how to cope with a such a loss. Major.
Just a whisper. I hear it in my ghost.
Aemaeth.
Perhaps I am the unknown puppet master that has been pulling my own strings; forcing myself to remember… how he pulled me close… his kiss… the times he made love to me. What of my feelings for the future?... were they just mere trick modes? This thought alone cuts me; causing a solitary sob to escape from me mid-flight. I begin to plummet into a cloud of despair. I am bleeding more now but still I choose to go... to forget. I fear that when next I hear him call my name my heart will soar again with childish joy and instinctively, I will turn and run back... I always have. Sometimes I wish my heart would turn to stone instead of being set alight by the blaze of his warmth. I look to the mirror; searching for my truth. My ghost whispers scornfully ‘when one’s face is distorted why you should blame the mirror? The mirror doesn’t help to enlighten but rather to confuse’. So I stop staring at myself and I rub my forehead; robbing it of truth.
Just a whisper. I hear it in my ghost.
Maeth.
Looking back, I realise that the universe conspired to keep us apart. What could be… cannot. The dream must die, for I choose to live. I finally understand. I hug my ghost as it whispers reassuringly ‘life and death come and go like marionettes dancing on a table. Once their strings are cut, they easily crumble’.
Good Shepherd, I know not of tomorrow so just for tonight all I dare ask is ‘let one walk alone, committing no sin, with few wishes, like elephants in the forest’. Please.
Ash: Shubby Doo. You! Left Lagos without saying goodbye
Shubby Doo: Sorry sweetie. How now?
Ash: I'm good. So now I find out that you're a baaaaaaaaaaaaad girl. Interesting ;) Now you must tell
Shubby Doo: Rules say just the score o! Besides you know I'm an angel
Ash: Angels barely get 100. I'm on 335 so I wanna know about your score
Shubby Doo: Crap, yours is lower than mine... o lawdy! :S
Ash: Yeah yeah just tell
Shubby Doo: How about you first?
Ash: You know I will tell you but you on ther other hand are the wild card!!!
Shubby Doo: LOL...ok maybe I was little naughty but I'm still so nice!!! ;)
So I’m wondering whether to lie or keep quiet... besides if I lie, the numbers won't add up and that means more explanations. Silence is best I think... definitely going the strong silence route... silence is that one thing that is so fragile that saying it breaks it.
But I do plan to have a little fun with him. You see his inquisition (on predominantly my sexual exploits) is because this turned up on my blackberry yesterday night… I read it and decided to play along so I tallied up my dues and I changed my status accordingly.
Feel free to have a go... and let me know your score!
This is fun to do. Just read the 'offence' and if you've done it, you owe that fine. You don't have to confess your answers, just the amount of your fine.
NOTE fines to be added once, not for how ever many times you have done it....
Put in your profile My fine is £XX (whatever amount is!)
01. Smoked weed -- £10
02. Did acid or pills -- £5
03. Ever had sex at church -- £25
04. Woke up in the morning & didn't know the person who was next to you -- £40
05. Had sex with someone on MySpace/Facebook/Bebo etc -- £25
06. Had sex for money -- £100
07. Ever had sex with a Puerto Rican -- £20
08. Vandalised something -- £20
09. Had sex on your parents' bed -- £10
10. Beat up someone -- £20
11. Been jumped -- £10
12. Cross dressed -- £10
13. Given money to stripper -- £25
14. Been in love with a stripper -- £20
15. Kissed someone who's name you didn't know -- £0.10
16. Hit on some one of the same sex while at work -- £15
17. Ever drive and drank -- £20
18. Ever got drunk at work, or went to work while still drunk -- £50
19. Used toys while having sex -- £30
20. Got drunk, passed out and don't remember the night before -- £20
21. Went skinny dipping -- £5
22. Had sex in a pool -- £20
23 Kissed someone of the same sex -- £10
24. Had sex with someone of the same sex -- £20
25. Cheated on your significant other -- £10
26. Masturbated -- £10
27. Cheated on your significant other with their relative or close friend -- £20
28. Done oral -- £5
29. Got oral -- £5
30. Done / got oral in a vehicle while it was moving -- £25
31. Stole something -- £10
32. Had sex with someone in jail -- £25
33. Made a nasty home video or took pictures -- £15
34. Had a threesome -- £50
35. Had sex in public -- £20
36. Been in the same room while someone was having sex --£25
37. Stole something worth over more than a hundred quid -- £20
38. Had sex with someone 10 years older -- £20
39. Had sex with someone ten years younger -- £25
40. Been in love with two people or more at the same time-- £50
41. Said you love someone but didn't mean it -- £25
42. Went streaking -- £5
How much do u owe?
I owe £430... damn!!!!... Actually I'm going to reduce it to £405... I didn't meet them via fb so fb doesnt count jare!
Ash: I'm still wating oooooooooo!
Shubby Doo: LOL. Night Ash
Ash: Sweet dreams
‘What a difference a day makes
Twenty four little hours…
…What a difference a day made
And the difference is…’
er… the difference is ME!
*Singing & Dancing*
‘...As you see me so
Edumare don bless me oh...’
I’ve changed but yet I’m still me. The clock struck 12 midnight a few minutes ago and thus rang in my birthday. My only tradition for years, on the day, is popping on a destiny’s child single called ‘birthday’ from their first album…
*Singing*
‘It’s your birthday you have to do nothing’… er… except go to work!!!
Good Shepherd thanks for all the mountains you've moved so I could have another today.
I love the fact that as human being we have the free will to choose to do something. This is usually preceeded by some consideration of the merits (or demerits) of numerous options before selecting a course of action.
I remember a quote from one of Neale Donald Walsch's books... ‘Every decision you make—every decision—is not a decision about what to do. It’s a decision about Who You Are’. I guess that's why the thought process behind the decision is also an important one.
Making a choice is itself a problem as the there is no way to always determine all the actual resulting outcomes it causes. So all causes have a beginning… actually, in truth, all causes are the beginning because for every cause there is an effect.
On Tuesday night, I instinctively chose to pick up the ringing phone in my hotel room as I was aimlessly surfing the internet. On the line, was one of the Principals I worked for; however, he wasn't calling to discuss tomorrow’s meeting, instead he wanted to know if I would say yes to his gesture which was supposedly innocent but actually sheepishly disguised.
His choice: Engaging in pretence to get me into a comprising position…
My choice: Pondering the rationale behind his stupid behaviour after my initial repulse…
I politely declined as I had already watched the film ‘The Departed’.
Maybe he thought I would eventually depart from my senses and that is why he chose to continue in hope; after all hope is the quintessential human delusion... or peharps he was under the illusion that if he persisted I would realise that I had no other choice but to agree to what he was proposing because as my Principal Consultant, he was the one with the authority.
My reaction: Indignation!
His reaction: Embarrassment!
Can someone please give a valid reason as to why in hell I would leave my hotel room for a married man’s room to perch on his bed at 10:45pm under the pretext of watching a DVD?
No… I didn’t think so!
Mscheeeeeeeeeeeeew!!!
I was 14.
On a school trip.
Somehow sex seemed to be everywhere.
The night before, we had come across soft porn on television in the hotel room. I recoiled in horror, thinking I must be in the wrong picture... only for me to look out of our balcony to see two gay men having sex on theirs.
C'est Paris. C'est la vie.
Luckily, the next day was going to be all about Euro Disney (or is it Disneyland Paris now?)... it was strictly PG13 stuff... Mickey Mouse... Minnie Mouse… Daffy Duck… Snow white and the Seven Dwarfs… Goofy… Cinderella… Belle and the Beast… but in truth I was just excited to see Looney Tunes’ finest… Bugs Bunny…
On our way to the theme park, I suddenly found my gaze drawn away from the chatter of girls around me.
I looked out of the window.
I’m not sure what I expected to see... definitely not a man driving erratically near our coach. At first I was afraid. Then I was confused. I kept wondering why he kept throwing glances at coach full of pubescent girls and laughing hysterically; the apparent cause of his bad driving.
A small gasp escaped from my lips as he took one hand off the wheel and lowered it. I knew now that it wasn’t me that was crazy, just him.
Vidya saw my expression and stopped, mid conversation. ‘Girl, what’s wrong?’, she questioned as she leaned over to nudge me. Then she was staring too. Others that had observed our abrupt silence, got up to look out of the window; only to be confronted by the same feeling of disbelief and discomfort.
Which was due to?
The simply fact that the man had whipped out his wiener… and then proceeded to knead his soft sausage... moist.
Jigger, fellers.
It was the first time I had seen one in real life… reddish/purple… swollen… & erect...
I turned my head away. My throat felt dry and tight as I swallowed hard.
At our destination, I tried to push his image to the back of my mind as we were given instructions of when and where we were to meet periodically throughout the day. Soon I was completely distracted of all thoughts that had nothing to do with fun as we hurried to queue for ride after ride; completely intent on enjoying every attraction at the theme park.
Before long, we realised it was time for lunch. After deciding where to eat, we made our way into the food counter. My nausea re-surfaced at the sight of the menu. Not one to miss a thing, Vidya started laughing as she collected her order and said ‘What up prune-face? Aren’t you going to order? Go on... I dare you’. Then just before she took a big bite out of her ready meal, she continued in her best René accent, ‘allo allo… ze flashing knobs... is zat's vot it's all about?’.
I eyed her and hissed.
Then I turned back to the counter and ordered. ‘Les frites, s'il vous plait. C'est ça’.
Hotdogs were simply off my menu…
In my hotel room in Manchester, I hear that Michael Jackson is in hospital... suffering from cardiac arrest...within minutes Sky News changes it breaking news to say there is an unconfirmed report from TMZ that he is dead.
I sit up in disbelief. I'm feeling weak... sick to my stomach... just like the time I found out that Princess Diana had died; another person whose end was tragic... in my mind both gave so much in life.
My phone rings... it's Niata calling from Nigeria, crying.
My blackberry starts singing again... and again... and again... I check... more new messages about Michael Jackson...
On facebook I see only one new status update... then I see another... then another... I add my own status update to facebook... more and more are updated as each minute passes.... many saying RIP MJ... some saying MJ is just in hospital... others saying don't kill him with your mouth... and one saying he's not dead until CNN says so... so I start to hope again... why? because it is the quintessentially human.
Then LA Times confirm he is gone...and finally CNN do too.
I keep watching the news; then memories of him...HIStory... his songs... come flooding into my mind...
I remember watching Thriller through my fingers as a child and being scared shitless... I remember Billie Jean, Beat It, Wanna be Starting Something... I remember trying to do the moonwalk after watching Motown 25 and failing miserably. To be honest, one of the actual reasons I started learning ballet at the age of 9 was because I wanted to be an En Pointe dancer... there was nothing cooler than being able to stand up on your toes... it was MJ's signature move!!!
I remember Bad... especially, how badly I wanted to be like Tatiana Thumbtzen who featured in his music video for The Way You Make Me Feel. I remember trying to spot the stars/celebrities littered in his Liberian Girl music video... all the time forgetting that I hadn't seen Micheal Jackson until the very end. I remember his other songs like Man in the Mirror, Dirty Diana, I Just Can't Stop Loving You and of course that famous anti gravity lean in the music video for Smooth Criminal...
Please who can forget his epic song We Are the World?... not me... never me...
What about his songs from the Dangerous Album?... Black or White ... OMG, I remember Maizah trying to teach a whole bunch of us at boarding school the dance moves in the music video Remember the Time. I remember Naomi Campbell in In the Closet as well as Michael Jordon in Jam... I remember waiting endlessly to watch the UK music video exlcusive of Who Is It on TV and then thinking chai... na wa for billionaire's boys club escort agency o!!!... I remember re-playing his song Will You Be There… I played that song over and over again in my dorm room in school so I could learn the lyrics.
I remember crying to his Heal the World song... I remember his song Gone Too Soon. *sighs* ... at only 50 years old... isn't that just the truth?!
I remember the amazing visual effects in the Scream music video when it was released... just watching Janet Jackson and her older brother left me in complete awe... funnily enough, I only just watched that same video on some music channel about 2 weeks ago and still thought it to be awesome.
I remember smiling as I watched Michael Jackson's Scarecrow Ease on down the Road with Diana Ross's Dorothy in the film 'The Wiz'.
I will always remember the time I found out that Michael Jackson died.
RIP Michael Jackson... your legacy lives on... know your music was the greatest... it touched so many... the man in the mirror made that change... I'm forever your fan... even though you are gone and I can no longer Rock With You... know still... You Rock My World.
Jimmy Choo is coming to H&M...apologies in advance to all those I'ma elbow outta my way to get a pair...or two pairs...or three pairs...needs must!!!
Read more...‘…A Squash vine grew beneath a towering tree.
In only twenty days it grew and spread and put forth fruit.
Of the tree it asked: 'How old are you? How many years?'
Replied the tree: 'Two hundred it would be, and surely more.'
The squash laughed and said: 'Look, in twenty days, I've done
More than you; tell me, why are you so slow?'
The tree responded: 'O little Squash, today is not the day of
reckoning between the two of us'
'Tomorrow, when winds of autumn howl down on you and me, then shall it be known for sure which one of us is the most resilient…’
Nasir Khusraw
Above is how I started my very first post.
I've stayed in this foreign land for almost a year... a year on 1st June to be exact.
I have met many new friends on this ‘journey’... including a blogger quite dear to me... better known to all here as Allied... I had the pleasure of meeting her about two weeks ago on my trip to USA.
You have met Shubby Doo and Flying Snow.
Here, I have tried to hold true to the fact that I never wanted this to be my ‘boxer rebellion’ despite the fact that this in itself is a secret society. This escape has been somewhat of a ‘battle’ because unlike ‘the boxers’, I have constantly worried that this incarnation of me would not be impervious to blades or invincible against the ‘fire spears’ of foreigners
Despite my fears, in this ‘Peking’, I have tried to stay true to myself.
Have I succeeded? I guess only The Good Shepherd truly knows :-)
So for the simply fact that in 364 days I never actually chose to ‘escape from Peking to Xian’, I'm going to celebrate this occasion by saying ‘Happy 1 year anniversary’ to this blogspot.
Blogville has been a rich experience to remember...
Resturant, London. August 2006
‘I wish I could pay for lunch but you know I’m not working.’
So I Paid.
‘He likes you but I want you to know that he invited me over to his place but I didn’t go. I said it was because my mother is in town.’
So I shook my head.
Café, London. August 2006
‘OMG, I told him and his friend that you were seeing someone but he had no right to call you in anger about it. I’m happy you told him off.’
So I sighed.
‘He and I got talking and I think we clicked. Maybe I understand him more than you do.’
So I nodded in agreement.
‘That night, he walked me home and we had this moment where we nearly kissed.’
So I choked back the laughter and smiled.
‘I found out that he and Terry slept together that night that he walked me home. He went back for her. She knew he liked me. What a bitch!!!’
So I sympathised.
Work. September 2006
‘Come with me to Lyon. It’s my friend’s wedding.’
So I agreed.
‘It’s not that I cannot afford it but can’t you book my ticket with your air miles?’
So I made up an excuse and declined.
‘Well I told him we were going on holiday but I don’t know why he’d want to call you last night.’
So I told her it was to wish me journey’s mercies.
Airport, London. October 2006
‘The airline didn’t fly my luggage out on my flight.’
So I confirmed that it was on my flight and called her back.
Airport, Lyon. October 2006
‘You know that calling you about my luggage finished my credit’.
So I told her about roaming charges.
Hotel, Lyon. October 2006
‘I know we are sharing but are you going to pay for the hotel for both nights?’
So I said no and watched as she begrudgingly paid for the second night.
‘Thanks for letting me use your phone. I was going to call my brother because I need credit but I can’t get through. I am going to call Cee Cee to help me top up my credit. She is the one true friend I can rely on.’
So I rolled my eyes.
‘I am running so late. I thought we had plenty of time. I can’t believe I didn’t re-set the time when I arrived in Lyon. I’ll just jump in the shower and then we can go.’
So I waited.
Train Station, Lyon. October 2006
‘The train is too crowded. The next one will be too late to make the wedding. It isn’t worth going there just for the reception. Oh well I tried. It’s her fault for not sorting out things properly for the wedding.’
So I kept quiet.
Resturant, Lyon. October 2006
‘Who is calling you? Is it him?’
So I showed her that it was.
‘He is being a real asshole. I’m so done with him.’
So I frowned, knowing full well that she wasn’t.
‘Do me a favour and delete his number so I won’t be tempted to ask you for it.’
So I deleted it because I knew she didn’t want me calling him.
Hotel, Lyon. October 2006
‘I can’t find my money. I can't understand where it could have gone’
So I showed her my purse only contained plastic money.
‘Let me tell you something. It's not nice to hear you go on about stuff you've bought when I don't have money.’
So I stared at her in disbelief and then walked out to cure my blues with more retail therapy.
In the car, London. January 2007
Maizah: Shubby Doo, do you know that even though he refuses to date her publicly, she still cooks for him every week, packs it in plastic and carries the food to his house.
Shubby Doo: The whole thing is off but I’ve told her I want no part in the friendship she has with him.
Maizah: You know Hafizah has been bitching about you behind your back; that she can’t talk to you about him.
Shubby Doo: She is at his house now. She told me not to tell you. Sad thing is it is not us she is fooling but herself. She will be her own undoing.
Maizah: You know we fought about you. I told her that she was out of order about the things she was saying.
Shubby Doo: I’m not surprised at her at all. Please o!...What has she been saying?
Maizah: Things like you finished her cash in Lyon.
Shubby Doo: Hahaha…abeg what cash?!!! I'm always picking up the tab. I simply stood my ground about the hotel. She has been bitching about you too. Apparently, you have an attitude problem because you argue with her anyhow and don’t give her the respect she deserves as she is 2 years your senior. I was like haba...relax!!! I mean I know we all went to school together but you guys are family friends... despite all her nonsense nobody has Hafizah's back like you do Maizah.
Maizah: I guess Macbeth's witches were right; ‘...fair is foul and foul is fair...’
So we laughed.
I’m hiding behind angels
A little frightened
But already numb to the pain
I go into hospital today
For treatment
Pre-cancerous cells the letter said
I say
It is not cancer
It is not cancer
It is not cancer
‘…keep your kiss of death
'Cause I choose glory, yeah.’
I called my friend yesterday to talk it through
Why?
Respice Finem
She allayed my fears
The Doctor tells me it s quite normal to be abnormal
My advice to you ladies is get smear tests done reguarly
Is it every 3 or 5 years they recommend?
I can't quite remember
I do know
That I am calm
That I am and have always been blessed
So I am still able to smile and laugh in the here and now
I cherish that
So like I said I’ll head out for treatment in a couple of hours... going there with the Good Shepherd =)
This is a hilarious... while I 100% support Baba Suwe's beloved's mantra of ‘you gats to give, to receive’... I can't stop laughing at his response.
When I get up off the floor and the tears subside I might try and decode what Baba Suwe says here for the non yorubas... although most of the rest of this clip is sub-titled, the classic bits of his rant are not... which is great shame. Like I said I might try but as doing so will most likely cause me to collapse in a fit of laughter again, I can make no promises =)
What I will say is one has to respect him for how he sticks to his guns with respect to what he regards as a gross act of foreplay... I doubled over as he kept repeating similar words to those sang by Meatloaf... ‘I can do anything for love but I won't do that’... but his sentiments are an antonym to those of the song... LOL.
What Baba Suwe's girl wanted: Head.
Resulting chaos: Baba Suwe started ranting and raving; basically, saying ‘hell no’.... in the end there was no sex that night as both of them tried to make their respective points on the matter.
Moral: There is a line that one should never be forced to cross to please another.
Baba Suwe, let katakata burst jo... norring do you jare... I support your theory o! (not this particular one sha)... but I do support the idea behind it… one should never agree to do something, sexually, that makes one uncomfortable for another.
Speaking of chaos... I will take this opportunity to do ‘2 truths and 1 lie’... I was tagged by Doug. No, I will not be tagging any others or pasting the rules here... yes, I do know that it may be unwise to forego the rules or break the chain... & yes, I also understand that by purposely doing so, I may spurn the universe's wrath. Will it dash me a hard slap of ‘the butterfly effect’ for my disobedience?….who knows… but what I do know is that, for this, I am choosing not to give into any notion based on an unrealistic sensitive dependence. So I post this in the hope that the flapping wings of that butterfly that has just taken flight, halfway across the world, will not result in a tornado in my life; as these scenarios can themselves, already, be deemed as salacious or perhaps even scandalous. Thankfully, I can say they have been rarity in my life.
Case 1.
What a girl wanted: To suprise her boyfriend... so I once decided to turn up at his house, using the set of keys he had cut for me. I just wanted to see him as we had been going through another rough patch... basically, his complaint was we didn't see each other often enough. As I snuck out of my parents place and disappeared off their radar, I couldn't help smiling to myself... the thought never crossed my mind that he would be anything other than happy to see me.
Resulting chaos: I caught him in bed with another woman... I stayed there, silent, for what seemed like an age as my mind screamed ‘not again, not again’. When, I woke them up, he stupidly tried to convince me that it wasn’t what I was thinking… then the madness ensued.
Moral: Stop flogging a dead horse because a leopard can't change its spots... (& no the moral of the story for the guys isn't 'do not cut keys to your place for your girlfriend').
Case 2.
What a girl wanted: To get her groove on… so I drank a glass of double Remy Martin & Coke when I was out with a guy I was seeing… then I started sipping on a second glass but left it, unfinished, when it was time to leave the bar. This I did as I was coming to the end of the course of prescribed amphetamines which I had completely forgotten I had taken earlier that morning.
Resulting chaos: I passed out and woke up with the hangover from hell, in a hotel room. I was completely starkers; sporting only the vaguest flashbacks (but no real memory) of the night before.
Moral: Don’t EVER drink while taking drugs... prescribed or otherwise.
Case 3.
What a girl wanted: Love… even the tainted kind... so I let a married man slip his hand inside my bra as my friend drove. When we got to his place to drop him off, I wasted no time in jumping out of the car after he offered to take me home as I lived nearby. I followed him inside, upstairs and into the bedroom to get his car keys.
Resulting chaos: I had an affair with a married man and ended up becoming a home wrecker; he left her for me... only to break my heart later.
Moral: What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder (Mark 10:9).
Which is my lie?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
*UPDATED on 07/02/2009*... specifically to hold off the two hell hounds at my heels (i.e. my dearest Afrobabe and the lovely Avartsy)… the answer is now below in inviso text:
Answer: Case 3 is the lie (truth is I told 2 truths followed by one lie… so I am not really a rule breaker afterall ;-P)
I never had any sort of an affair with Serb. I’ve never seen him since that night we dropped him off. I did hear that at the time he was trying to ‘cop a feel’, his loving wife had left for London to give birth to his 2nd child... *shakes head & sighs*... may that never be my portion.
I hope and pray that the only married man that I will ever follow into the bedroom will be mine. AMEN.
I hope you all had a very Merry Christmas. Wishing you all a happy and blessed start to the New Year.
I got back from Lagos on Wednesday. I’ve swapped the heat only to find that being re-immersed in the cold is more unbearable. C'est la vie I guess.
I had a fab holiday…
OMG, before I forget let me just say that while in Lagos, I watched the Nigerian films ‘Jenifa’ and ‘Jenifa 2’... suliat kan, aiyetoro kan… LMAO... filmed in Yoruba but with English subtitles I think part 1 is a must see for all... absolutely hilarious!!!
OK... back to the jist of this post... i.e. what I got up to... Smaragd, just to let you know that I rocked a little at places like Caliente, Penthouse, Insomnia and Auto Lounge… what else did I do?… I went to Federal Palace… I visited Shoprite for the very 1st time (more for necessity than curiosity)… I went to 2 weddings, one kiddie party, and attended our New Year’s Day family event… funny sha this is the first time in years I purposely didn't take my camera out with me. So I've decided to commit, the various snapshots of my memories hanging out with the usual suspects here. Some, you know… like Rosetta, Reverie, Spartan, Wole Ray and Jay but others you don't… like Niata, Ababa and Kujan plus I met new people like IJ, Ash and Baer.
I just can't believe we're going to walk into certain death
I hope that Jeremy Hoyland, the British jet skier that went missing off the coast of Bali, two months ago is found safe and sound soon. It just brings home how dangerous our antics could have been. Last Sunday, by the time Reverie turned up to pick me up, we'd already missed the boat. I had just about given up the ghost on going to the beach but Reverie decided otherwise.
Reverie: I was going to go on the Jet Ski by myself but you're coming with me. You know we are going to fall in don't you
Shubby Doo: Yes… crap… Ok, let's go
Luckily, we didn't fall into the water as we rode all the way from the ikoyi to ilashe… from behind I clung on to him... and for most of the time I had my eyes closed... so you see when we finally caught up with the boat that had left 20 minutes before us… I was more than just relieved.
Get yourself laid
I did.
I got thrown this job by some lawyer
The job was simple really… I just had to let her outshine me… as if. IJ is one of those girls I normally stay well clear off… she is the kind that name drops and thinks she is the most attractive girl in the room even with her nasty weave. I met her at a wedding that I went to with Niata. She purposely manoeuvred her bleached... whoops... I meant to say toned body to sit next to the guy I was chatting with and her dumb gob just spoilt the intelligent conversation we were having. 2 hours later at a BBQ, she saw me walking past and stopped me.
IJ: Hmmm… You’re the engineer aren’t you?
Shubby Doo: Yes… & you’re the lawyer
I walked away and when I came back to sit down she had miraculously remembered my name. I saw her smile fade when Reverie came to sit next to me. It completely disappeared when Spartan stopped dead in his tracks as he realised he wasn’t hallucinating, winked at me and then marched straight up to me to say hello.
Well I believe in God, and the only thing that scares me is Keyser Söze
The attraction Spartan and I still share scares me… our chemistry is still as ‘excited’... our Keyser Söze is still as ‘dangerous’... as it was the 1st day we met… so how exactly we managed to keep politely saying hello to each other without tearing each other's clothes off after a year with no real contact is a mystery. Whatever he is doing… whoever he is with… he stops and drops everything just for me…
Spartan: Are you ok?
Shubby Doo: I'm fine thank you
I know he doesn't get it but it is not for me anymore. How he always found a way to try and talk to me, hold my waist or stroke my arm in the shadows is beyond me… I was mostly indifferent to it... but the fact that it was always done out of sight of his babe did cause me some concern because I've always know him to be truthful. As far as I'm concerned we are just friends now… it’s an ego thing I think… basically, he cannot understand why I walked away from ‘us’ without blinking… but I’m sure he’ll deal with it soon enough.
After that my guess is that you will never hear from him again
If only. I met Ababa at the beach 3 years ago… his conversation skills have not matured in that time. Apparently Jay tells me that Ababa is ever so shy and quite sweet when he is sober but I guess that means I've only met him when he has had something to drink and his manners have gone to pot.
Ababa: I love your eyes
Shubby Doo: Thank you
Ababa: I wonder what they would look like at the moment of penetration
Shubby Doo: You'll never know. At 21, I couldn't tolerate such nonsense let alone at this age. Excuse me
Before I left he asked for my London number. I refused to reply. He went on facebook and wrote nonsense on my wall… my brother ATA says I should just limit profile his ass… I think I might just do that. After that my guess is that he’ll probably not hear from me again.
That's funny. He called me last night
He called and asked me to go outside and look at the moon… I did… and yes everybody has yabbed me already because apparently I should have pretended but then I wouldn't have seen what Ash was talking about... the bright star shouldering its crescent.
I met Ash at a club I went to with Niata. I liked him from the very start. We danced and talked and danced some more. He offered to take me home when Reverie disappeared... chasing women as usual...
Shubby Doo: Where is he? I can't see him... Ok I'm not going to panic for another 10 minutes... darn... I should have gone home with Niata
Ash: No you shouldn't. I'm glad you stayed
Anyway, the word is he carries around a lotta cash
IJ came to my rescue and took Baer away from me… he bored me shitless... and I got so sick and tired from rolling my eyes all night… it was that bad.
Baer: Can you imagine that guy told them to send me the bill for the extra stuff he ordered
Shubby Doo: I don’t understand. Why would he?
Baer: I organised the BBQ and paid for it and he had the audacity to send the bill for the extra stuff he ordered to me
Shubby Doo: Pele… that’s not right
Baer: People always do that to me. They know I have money and I guess that is what happens when you work like me… I mean I could do a 9 to 5 job but then I wouldn't have as much money and…
I don’t remember the rest… I’d switched off
In English, please?
Kujan is hilarious… as soon as he gets into London and sees oyinbo people he’s accent switches…even with Nigerians… he just can’t help blowing his phonetics… He took the seat I’d saved for Reverie at the Christmas table… yet I wasn’t disappointed with his company… we teased each senseless about our accents… I haven’t laughed so much during Christmas dinner like I did with Kujan… I’m hoping to catch up with him in London sometime this month.
A rumor's not a rumor that doesn't die
Tinuke: Aunty Shubby Doo I saw you and Uncle Reverie flirting
Shubby Doo: You?!!!… you have started with that active mind of yours again abi?
Tinuke: You were flirting
Shubby Doo: Maybe the intensity you saw was me having a go at him. He was supposed to take me somewhere and he didn't
Tinuke: Hmmm… maybe... I still think you were flirting!!!
On another occasion when it was time to leave and go home, Niata came back to tell me that I was, in fact, staying.
Niata: Your husband said I cannot take you. He says he'll drop you off.
Shubby Doo: Which husband?
Niata: Reverie
Shubby Doo: Hahaha… he came here cause I told him we were coming… we've not really hung out this last week that we've both been back in Lagos… I'll just double check with him but I'll probably stay. Thanks anyway
You kids ready?
That’s what I think of Jay’s girlfriend… a kid… she is totally insecure about my friendship with him… so much so that she stopped him from coming out with me on New Year's Eve despite the fact she couldn't accomodate him in her plans. I told him it was ok… he was so embarrassed. Apparently he warned her well... he felt that she had insulted me and inadvertently got him to insult our friendship. He called to take me out to Terra Culture 2 days later. We then ended up at Sky Bar (EKO Hotel) for dinner. She called every hour… after the 3rd time she called him back immediately to talk to me… apparently she thought it might have seemed rude that she hadn’t asked to say hello… silly girl... if she thinks I'm going to give up on my trusted confidant she has another thing coming.
Put a leash on that puppy
Before I left Lagos, Jay called me.
Jay: You need to talk to Reverie. I don't know what you two are playing at but you guys have something and you both don't want to deal with it
Shubby Doo: Ok I will
Jay: No you won't
Shubby Doo. You are right I won't
Jay: Shubby Doo
Shubby Doo: Swiftly changing the subject… guess who I spoke to last night?… Ash
Jay: And?
Shubby Doo: He was a bit ratty… his car had broken down... it over heated... and he was complaining because he hadn’t eaten all day except for a chocolate bar… I told him he sounded irritable so I was going to leave him be... to at least get something to eat… plus I had to go because they had just served up my pounded yam
Jay: You are wicked…
Shubby Doo: I know... hahaha... can you imagine that the poor guy couldn't stop himself from asking if it was powdered pounded yam... I gleefully told him it was the real kind… POUNDED YAM!
Jay: Hahaha
The greatest trick the devil ever pulled was convincing the world he did not exist. And like that... he is gone.
I got to see my Aunty Grace. She is undergoing the treatment she needs… some days are better than others but she is a pillar of strength… she is doing much better than I’d hoped…
For those of you that helped to pray with me when I posted amazing grace... Thank you again for your support and kind words... the devil is a liar... she is well in Jesus' name.
Good Shepherd she is in your hands. Continue to heal her. Please
Last Christmas, I was rocking in places like Bacchus & 6 degrees North, Volar, No 10, Caliente etc… mainly to the tune of Olu Maintain’s Yahoozee but little did I think that dem yahoozee people wey dey UK fit do me 419 this Christmas!
Today I panicked when I checked my account and saw and an unknown debit… with work paying my December salary in at the end of this week on Friday, and me leaving on the country on Thursday, I started thinking I for just come back from Lagos see say dey don clear my account finish…
I don’t know why God told me to check my account today…at first, I was like why is the ID for that transaction written weirdly as ‘WWW.TOTALLYSHOES.C, O.UK’?… then a small light bulb came on and I was like I don't know them so why have they taken money from my account?… I clicked to investigate further and then I was like hell no…uh uh… I didn’t buy anything last week on the 11th.
So I called the bank and found out that on Thursday, after I had endured my 2nd pointless meeting of the day at work (I guess I should back track and correct that because the 1st meeting was quite necessary and it proved useful)… @ 13:58, my bank card was used to buy something off ‘http://www.totallyshoes.co.uk’... I assumed this to be the real website address sha because the one above didn’t make sense…
Now with only 3 days before I was to leave for naija… I had to cancel my bank card… I checked all the pending transactions on it and confirmed the remaining were mine… they were thank goodness… I confirmed that the bank could report it as fraud to the police… I then started to look for my oga to say I’d be finishing work early today to enable me to get to the bank before it closed to make a bank declaration…
I’d been spitting mad since I looked at my account… I’m normally so cautious… who likes being ‘had’?… not me.… I remember laughing long and hard at an oyinbo guy at work about three years ago who got hustled… for lack of common sense IMO… he and his partner accepted £5000 from a nigerian asking them to transfer about £50,000 into a nigerian's account for the promise of £100,000… na so money just dey rain from the sky?!… I wasn't surprised to hear that in the end they got nothing back in return… the cheque bounced… but after loosing £45,000 the police started investigating them for money laundering activities… me, I don't want wahala so I promptly report all suspect e-mails as phishing scams.
To protect myself from opportunists, I take precautions such as shredding all my card receipts… I never send my banking details in e-mails... I only do internet banking from work because of the nature of the secure work we do… same goes for internet shopping… I've signed up for secure online card verification systems with all but one of my cards and that is only because they are yet to offer it. I rarely do internet shopping with that bank card but I did err two weeks ago and then I ended up cancelling the order because the company was useless…
So upon all my precautions I sat at my desk completely miffed… the recurring question in my head was... of all the cards to all my accounts…why e be de account dat my salary dey enter dem go put hand enter, comot carry go?… I know people can beat the system but I felt so violated… I kept thinking thunda fire their yansh 1 millions times over…
I also felt bloody insulted… I would never shop on that site… not my style… not at all… I get taste better pass dat o but how I fit use dat theory as proof for bank?… I know say I no fit.
Then I started thinking maybe they’d be able to track them down with the delivery address used for the purchase…yes, perhaps… and I hope they lock them up and throw away the key when they find them… I just wanted my money back.
As I got to the end of this post I started thinking of all the things I was yet to get for myself and others for my trip to Lagos… I’d made a list and my eye caught a glimpse of one of the things I had gotten already… yoghurt for the kids… this time a big 1000 watt light bulb came on in my head with a very loud ‘ping’… I remembered an internet transaction I’d made on 11th December @ 13:51 for yoghurt mix… no no no no… but it was with a company called fraser simpson… they sent me an e-mail saying the transaction would show as ‘Totally Commerce Ltd’ not ‘WWW.TOTALLYSHOES.C, O.UK’… WTF?!!!
I’m going to call fraser simpson and check but the amount is the same and the time stamps kinda match so I guess it was probably me afterall… lol…
If it is I’ll call the bank back and explain… to think that all that wahala was for nothing… & I'll still have to wait for a new bank card no matter what, which won't arrive before I leave for Lagos… *shakes head*… I did all that for nothing…
Where is Afrobabe?… Afro… Afro… you sure say no be you wan do me juju like this because I no dey carry you go naija with me for Christmas?!!!
Problem solving is considered one of the most complex of all intellectual functions. It is seen as a higher-order cognitive process that requires modulation and control.
So I have a small problem at the moment… my root cause analysis of the situation concluded that I over-indulged during my birthday trip… yay. However, if left unchecked, I will look like a beached whale in my bikini this Christmas… boo… besides Sod's Law dictates dat na facebook dem go use to expose me…
So I’m on a diet… The Food Doctor’s Diet… I’ve lost 3 kg in 3 weeks. Not bad but I’m not quite where I want to be yet. The process involves following some simple rules:
I’ve applied a simple formula to a small problem (admittedly to do with my vanity) but I’m very sure that I’ll end up with the right result.
These last few weeks I’ve been overwhelmed by the number of bigger problems out there in the world.
Two weeks ago - I sat, flabbergasted, as I watched the documentary on the practice in Akwa Ibom, Nigeria… a classic case of how a perspective on a phenomenon has created one… I mean how the fuck does a community continue its barbaric practice of branding its children as child witches and then torture and kill them?!… in this day and age?! haba…
Last week - I was utterly confused as to why those retards entered Mumbai, India… solely for the purpose of reeking havoc at the taj mahal hotel, oberoi trident hotel, caman hotel, nariman place and café leopoid… I keep checking the news and still opacity… so I’m asking WTF for?!
Over the w/e - I was monitoring the religious/ ethnic violent riots in Jos, Nigeria… a result of the contested elections… all the time knowing that the deaths were preventable and absolutely senseless!
Today is World AIDS Day – but I still cannot fathom why people choose to have unsafe sex…people should fucking double bag IMO!
Ever heard of the joke ‘why is a maths book so sad?… well it’s because it contains so many problems’… but isn't maths supposed to be ‘the’ universal language of the world?… correction…of the universe as we know it… one that needs no translation to be completely understood… Especially in relation to the examples given above; I mean why can’t the foundations of mathematics be used to teach people that the axioms that they hold true are massively flawed. Simply because each is a starting point from which nothing else logically follows… *sighs*
Generally, I live my life holding steadfast to a lesson I learnt in church many years ago… ‘if you’re not part of the solution you are part of the problem’… but like Shakespeare pointed out in Hamlet… ‘ay, there's the rub’… what is the solution?… I remember this textbook I had in university… Stroud's Engineering Mathematics… we called it our engineering bible just because it had a detailed worked solution to everything.
Good Shepherd, why can’t there be a finite answer for each and every one of the world’s problems?…only one right non-elusive answer no matter the method of derivation.
Shubby Doo: What streak of madness are you talking about?... because of Aerosmith?... o abeg leave me jare ... ahhhhh... ok fine... you really want to know what I want for my birthday?
‘I could stay awake just to hear you breathing
Watch you smile while you are sleeping
While you're far away and dreaming
I could spend my life in this sweet surrender
I could stay lost in this moment forever
Where every moment spent with you is a moment I treasure
Don't wanna close my eyes
I don't wanna fall asleep
Cause I'd miss you babe
And I don't wanna miss a thing
Cause even when I dream of you
The sweetest dream will never do
I'd still miss you babe
And I don't wanna miss a thing
Lying close to you feeling your heart beating
And I'm wondering what you're dreaming
Wondering if it's me you're seeing
Then I kiss your eyes
And thank God we're together
I just want to stay with you in this moment forever
Forever and ever’
Shubby Doo: See... it's not lunacy… just the simple wish of a wakeful dreamer.
I am grateful for what I am. For what I have. Saying that, I need to get a new job.
For me it is about growth. I have been here too long. I choose to experience something different. It is time. However, I am just a little scared of leaving this one now. I guess with me it has to do with the fear of the unknown; which I'm not always good at facing... it has been known to cripple me... it is my pejorative... arghhhhh!
Don't get me wrong. Most of the time I do believe in me but at the moment I’m thinking ‘stay a while longer’. .. *Sigh*... Some of my rationale has to do with the uncertainty of the credit crunch... but part of me is like ‘who cares get a job back in Lagos’.
So in an effort to motivate myself, I am going to motivate others first... but in a completely different sector... simply bcos I can’t have you guys taking all the good jobs in engineering before I get back to Nigeria... lol
I'm talking... Finance
So moneymen (and women) in Nigeria, e-mail or send Minerva your CV:
info@minervarecruitment.com
or call:
+234 (0) 1 461 7265
The goddess of commerce has positions available in:
Investment banking
Capital markets
Retail and Risk management
Analysts
Research in fixed income and equity
For some, I hope serendipity has found you on your visit to this page.
p.s
Do check out Naapali's comment to this post on the 3 princes of serendip.
As a child I went to a boarding school. My school was in a small village… it was next to a church (and its graveyard)… both were surrounded by woodlands. This meant my school was isolated from all... especially boys which was just the way my father liked it.
I remember one Saturday night, we watched a film called ‘It’ ... for those who don't know, ‘It’ is a horror film about a sadistic balloon wielding clown... an adaptation of Stephen King's book of the same name. Anyway... the next day, I went with Aoife to collect my hymn book for church from a deserted school building… let me just say that I knew of many stories that seemed to suggest that all our buildings were supposedly haunted which is why I didn't go alone.
As I took my hymn book from the cubbyhole, I saw a red balloon fall from nowhere and drift to the ground… Aoife and I looked at each other… to us it was a warning that signalled the arrival of Pennywise… ‘It’… but neither of us were part of the Losers’ Club so there was no fighting ‘It’… the thought of the clown getting ready to marinate me as meat freaked me out so much so that I left my friend for dust and I ran for my life…
I don’t know how much adrenalin kicked in but it must have been a lot because by the time I stopped to catch my breath, I couldn't see Aoife behind me… as I was trying to figure out if she had fallen foul of some atrocity, her voice somehow pierced through the deafening sound of my racing heartbeat… just like the Doppler Effect from an ambulance siren, the shift in her pitched scream was clearly evident as she approached and she ran past me; heading straight to church. At this point I started laughing.
Looking back now I think our reaction was a reflection of our childish fears interpreted in a physical form… or was it? A sign is still a sign… maybe it was God telling me not to watch such films. To this day, I will not re-watch that film or read the book.
My first introduction to impending messages of doom was the bible. I think it was the story of the shepherd... soon to be prophet... called Moses. He saw a burning bush that would not be consumed. As he stood watching, he was told by God to go to the Pharaoh and tell him to set the Israelites free. (This Pharaoh is not Rameses I or II btw because evidence of the exodus was found in Tutankhamun’s tomb and he pre-dates both Kings... plus Rameses II lived to a ripe old age).
Anyway... the Pharaoh... lets call him the Pharaoh of Oppression... the Pharaoh of Oppression’s faith did not lie in the God of Israel... he worshipped the gods of Egypt. He continuously chose to ignore God’s words and caused his people to suffer through 9 plagues and then he condemn all the first born males to their fate… death… this was the 10th plague.
Now prophecies in the bible are not all bad… there is Joseph's ability to interpret dreams... Pharaoh's dreams... that foretold that seven years of abundance would be followed by seven years of famine.
However; despite the fact that I am mostly familiar with biblical and/ or historic figures (e.g. Joan of Arc) receiving messages in the form of emanations from the divine… I also know a little of traditional mythologies of yoruba gods. Such as Orunmila… the deity of destiny and prophecy who carried Ifa (the wisdom of Olodumare) to Earth. I guess the embodiment of his knowledge and wisdom are now supposedly distilled through the Priests of Ifa… better known as babalawos (in its singular form babalawo means father of secrets).
Again I am sceptical of such people… I avoid them at all cost... do some have the gift?... or are some just modelling themselves on the trickster god, Ellegua (who is supposed to open the way for Orunmila's wisdom)?
I once lost £300 from my suitcase in Nigeria when I was staying with family… someone else had lost $1000 the week before… cameras etc... had been going missing for a while. The househelp were all interrogated and they all swore to God that they were not the culprit. Their quarters were searched but nothing was found. We couldn’t figure out how they were getting the stuff they stole out of the house so fast and by now everybody was generally pissed at the culprit's confidence to be so audacious.
So it was decided that they would all be sent to a babalawo… let me quickly just say that I was not a supporter of this course of action o!
Anyway a whole heap of things happened to them that day and when the househelp came back, they were all scared shitless. The house girl was identified as the thief and we managed to get back least 3/4 of everything that had gone missing… I got back all my money.
Would I support doing so again?... No. I try and stay well clear of such things. My faith is key.
The footnote on Smaragd's post 'just the way you are' reminded me of a time when I was in University... I was forewarned… no it was actually we…we were warned against moving into a flat.
My mother always told me that 'to be forewarned is to be forearmed'... so my fighting spirit kicked in when I heard this warning and in defiance I insisted we move in... I honestly didn't believe that anything bad would happen if we did... I reminded myself of that line in Terminator 2 … ‘there is no fate but what we make’... I had faith and I knew that this wasn't our fate.
I guess another reason I didn't give into my fears so readily was simply because house hunting was a royal pain in the arse… especially with 4 other Naija girls. When we found a nice 5 bedroom house Busola pulled out. So we had to start again because this time we only needed a 4 bedroom place... most of the good ones had already gone. It was also exam season so I was stressed to the hilt with revision… which meant it was double wahala trying to sort out viewings. We knew if we waited until exams were over we would end up living in a dive.
I will not pretend that I am not fussy… I have certain standards… so when we eventually found a place… I was happy. Midweek after we had viewed the flat I got a call from Bubbles.
Shubby Doo: How now? I’m sorry I haven’t called before but I’ve been revising. Anyway I checked and I can afford my share of the rent.
Bubbles: Me too but rent isn’t the issue… it’s Chixster.
Shubby Doo: I don’t understand… you say rent isn’t the issue so what is the problem?… shebi we were all there when she said she it was ok.
Bubbles: She said she felt something strange and sinister when we were there… her spirit is unsettled… basically she got some sort of premonition that something bad would happen to us if we moved in
Shubby Doo: You’re not serious?
Bubbles: I am o…
Bubbles was serious... because Chixster was serious… I was seriously not convinced... maybe because I have always chosen faith over fate whenever they differ but I couldn’t quite dismiss her gift which had revealed this unknown foreboding future… why?
1stly - Chixster was a strong Christian.
2ndly - I had heard that it was a bad thing to ignore her advice on such things… she was gifted like her mother… it was her mother’s gift that had prevented the death of Chixster’s father… as I recall the driver had died in his place.
I called and spoke to Chixster and tried to appease her fears… no joy… but I wasn’t willing to give up on the flat despite the fact that Chixster wasn’t willing to move in.
I weighed up my options… like Busola, I too could break away but I’d already done so with another group of black girls and opted to move in solely with naija babes… hmmm... if I pulled out from this group then my only choice was living with Jay… how was I going to explain living with a guy (even though our friendship was purely platonic) to my folks? I wasn’t... so Jay wasn’t an option.
Determined, I spoke to Chixster again... she gave in a little this time… she said that the only way we were living in that place was if we waged a spiritual war against the premonition and won... No problem I thought... my fighting spirit was ready... I would put on The Armour of God (as in Ephesians 6:10-20) and go with her… Chixster said we should start by sprinkling holy water in every single room and praying... if her feelings against the place diminished we'd be winning. As I held the phone to my ear, I started to ponder how exactly we would get a priest to come with us on a 2nd viewing... hmmm... at that moment Chixster interrupted my thoughts & let it be known she had holy water we could use.
We went back.
The 2nd time I was there I felt ‘it’ too… but it so happened to be the room that I had chosen as mine that was particularly problematic… you see my room was the only one with a built-in wardrobe (I told you I had standards). When we opened it, we found a small skeleton…
Like Aoife… this time I started screaming.
Last week I turned down workingon a project which meant I’d have to commute to up north every Monday and return back to mine on Friday… the drive is about 6 hours each way…I politely told them no thanks & then added if they chose to keep on taking work up north then they should hire competent folk that live in the area…
This week I got coerced into being the Engineering Consultant for a new bid and I’m not inspired at all…5 days of my time is all I’ve agreed to… I just hope 5 days of work will NOT turn into 3 weeks…
I can’t seem to concentrate at work this week… I don’t feel well… I think I might be coming down with a cold… watery eyes plus my glands are slightly swollen... my own is that if it is a cold it should just come and pass quickly jo…
I'm blaming my Principal Consultant because he came in with a cold this week... also blaming him since he is the one that keeps pointing the Engineering Managers to my desk to ask me to work on projects that he cannot work on... despite the fact that we are BOTH fully loaded my name is still the automatic default from his lips.
Saying that he has just snuck off to 'The Boat Show'... he was trying to keep it quiet from me but I heard him whispering and acting shifty... not like him... then I saw him turning off his computer early... very unlike him... so I walked up to his desk and was like... ‘er... erm... what are you doing cos you better not be dashing off? btw what is all this I just overheard about a boat show?’... the poor guy looked like he'd just been caught with his hands in the cookie jar... lol
Despite the fact that I was amused, I met his stuttered reply with a stern look... at which point he just laughed... I wasn't too hard on him sha because he was here until about 7pm last night... COB is 4:30pm... I left at about 6:30pm yesterday but it was a longish day for me because I was in for 7:30am.
Anyway... back to my health... I have a pain in my neck… I ignored it over the weekend but it is still there… I know full well it is hurting in the same place as it did 4 years ago…
Good Shepherd just send one of your angels to hold me… for now that’s all I ask.
Maybe it is in my head but at the moment… about everything… I am thinking of this passage:
‘…For I will restore you to health and I will heal you of your wounds,' declares the LORD…’ Jeremiah 30:17
So be it, in Jesus Name.
What was I saying?... oh yes... 4 years ago I found a very small lump in my neck… I searched around at the time and found another…I have to thank God for small mercies because neither have grown since I showed the doctor back then… but I never went back like he suggested…
I will register with a doctor's surgery tonight… I should have done so when I moved up here but hey 21 months is an improvement for me… last time I moved it took me over 2 years to register…actually it was probably closer to 3 years.
Hopefully they’ll quickly transfer my medical notes from the old doctor's practice so I can make an appointment for next week… else I’ll pick them up next Tuesday when I drive south to discuss my Russian work.
Must remember to call the HR dept and take up the private health care option that I’m now entitled to have…no disrespect to the NHS.
I’m so very busy… apparently women are better at multitasking but I’ve always hated having to refocus my attention from an overall goal towards multiple subsidiary tasks… but at the moment everything seems to be major which means I’m juggling… so many things at once… too many things at once…
I read somewhere that the act of juggling is the human ability of moving objects, usually through the air. It is done mainly for entertainment. But this is my life… and it ain't no joke so I’m scared that if I loose concentration for a second, the balls might fall to the ground… I don’t want that.
Lemme explain…
1stly… career ball… I’m busy with work… In addition to what is already on my plate, I think I might have to start going to Russia soon. My company are working on getting me a multiple visa for trips to Moscow, Murmansk and Saint Petersburg… but mehnnn…the idea of trying to acclimatise to the cold over there (especially at this time of year) is not meshing with me one bit... not at all.
Work is kind of doing me a favour with the visa thing as I’ve always wanted to go to Saint Petersburg. The music, culture and cityscape are something to experience apparently. Did you know that the name was thought to be too German, so in 1914 the city was renamed Petrograd? I’m fascinated with the revolution that ousted Tsar Nicholas II and forged the legend of Anastasia. She is the daughter that was supposed to have survived despite the fact that her and her siblings were speared with bayonets. This was because the amount of diamonds they were wearing apparently rendered them bullet proof (to some extent). Anyway after the revolution against the Russian Monarchy, Lenin came into power. Then he died and so they re-named the place Leningrad just 3 days after his death in 1924. However, in the 1991 referendum, 54% of voters chose to restore the name Saint Petersburg. I digress…
Anyway, fellow Nigerians keep telling me that Russians don’t like black people but I’ve known a couple of mixed raced people... as in the Russian and Naija combo (I'm sorry if that sounds like a meal deal but you know what I mean)… anyway, they never complained about being discriminated against when there… but the idea of that curve ball does bother me sha.
2ndly… family ball… I’m busy with plans for my mother’s bday… my brothers and I are trying to organise the celebrations for her 60th next month. My task is trying to sort out the thanksgiving church service... and the cake... and the finger food... and the champagne & wine ...as well as the music for the reception. I'm really starting to wonder what the others are doing... lol... I'm not sorting out the dinner so I'm happy about that sha.
Also we are not sure of what to get her… we think it should be a collective present from the kids but no one has a clue… anybody that read half will know my mother is fussy… the saying ‘it is the thought that counts’ doesn't wash with her… it is BECAUSE we love her we MUST get it right! lol
3rdly… love ball… as in the art of contact juggling… hmmm… that is the ability to manipulate the object (of my affection of course... not that I do manipulation mind you) through constant contact with the body…hmmm…*blushing*… er… not for this post…
4thly... friendship ball... my friend Nailah had a baby today... I didn't even realise she was due... I felt so bad... anyway, I called her as soon as I got her text. She told me she was still at the hospital and that she'd given birth at 1pm today to a beautiful and healthy baby girl... ***ok, so I admit that I added this bit to the original post at about 6pm***... anyway, I am so happy for her. I will try and visit her as soon as she gets out of hospital.
Today is a blessing indeed because it is also one of my closest friend’s birthday. Let's call her Maizah. I called her in Abuja to wish her happy birthday. She told me she was having a lovely romantic dinner organised by her boyfriend and they would be joining their other friends for her birthday get together later.
Lastly… party ball… I’m busy planning my bday in November… my friends and I are off to Nevada. All flights and hotels are booked… I’ve told everybody that no husbands or boyfriends are allowed…
I’ve sorted out most of the special stuff sha… but I’m really surprised that everybody coming to celebrate with me wants to play with the adventure ball… as in go skydiving with me… as in naija babes will jump out of a plane and start free falling at 120 mph (miles per hour) … but only for about 60 seconds…then we get to parachute down for 5 to 7 minutes… can you imagine it?… 5 to 7 minutes of gliding in quiet peace.
Apparently when I free fall I will feel ‘… a sense of weightlessness and wind… it will feel like I’m floating…’
Will be saying a prayer before I take my leap of faith sha!!!
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