Tuesday, 27 January 2009

sex, lies &...3. chaos

This is a hilarious... while I 100% support Baba Suwe's beloved's mantra of ‘you gats to give, to receive’... I can't stop laughing at his response.

When I get up off the floor and the tears subside I might try and decode what Baba Suwe says here for the non yorubas... although most of the rest of this clip is sub-titled, the classic bits of his rant are not... which is great shame. Like I said I might try but as doing so will most likely cause me to collapse in a fit of laughter again, I can make no promises =)

What I will say is one has to respect him for how he sticks to his guns with respect to what he regards as a gross act of foreplay... I doubled over as he kept repeating similar words to those sang by Meatloaf... I can do anything for love but I won't do that’... but his sentiments are an antonym to those of the song... LOL.

What Baba Suwe's girl wanted: Head.

Resulting chaos: Baba Suwe started ranting and raving; basically, saying hell no’.... in the end there was no sex that night as both of them tried to make their respective points on the matter.

Moral: There is a line that one should never be forced to cross to please another.

Baba Suwe, let katakata burst jo... norring do you jare... I support your theory o! (not this particular one sha)... but I do support the idea behind it… one should never agree to do something, sexually, that makes one uncomfortable for another.

Speaking of chaos... I will take this opportunity to do 2 truths and 1 lie’... I was tagged by Doug. No, I will not be tagging any others or pasting the rules here... yes, I do know that it may be unwise to forego the rules or break the chain... & yes, I also understand that by purposely doing so, I may spurn the universe's wrath. Will it dash me a hard slap of ‘the butterfly effect’ for my disobedience?….who knows… but what I do know is that, for this, I am choosing not to give into any notion based on an unrealistic sensitive dependence. So I post this in the hope that the flapping wings of that butterfly that has just taken flight, halfway across the world, will not result in a tornado in my life; as these scenarios can themselves, already, be deemed as salacious or perhaps even scandalous. Thankfully, I can say they have been rarity in my life.

Case 1.
What a girl wanted: To suprise her boyfriend... so I once decided to turn up at his house, using the set of keys he had cut for me. I just wanted to see him as we had been going through another rough patch... basically, his complaint was we didn't see each other often enough. As I snuck out of my parents place and disappeared off their radar, I couldn't help smiling to myself... the thought never crossed my mind that he would be anything other than happy to see me.

Resulting chaos: I caught him in bed with another woman... I stayed there, silent, for what seemed like an age as my mind screamed ‘not again, not again’. When, I woke them up, he stupidly tried to convince me that it wasn’t what I was thinking… then the madness ensued.

Moral: Stop flogging a dead horse because a leopard can't change its spots... (& no the moral of the story for the guys isn't 'do not cut keys to your place for your girlfriend').

Case 2.
What a girl wanted: To get her groove on… so I drank a glass of double Remy Martin & Coke when I was out with a guy I was seeing… then I started sipping on a second glass but left it, unfinished, when it was time to leave the bar. This I did as I was coming to the end of the course of prescribed amphetamines which I had completely forgotten I had taken earlier that morning.

Resulting chaos: I passed out and woke up with the hangover from hell, in a hotel room. I was completely starkers; sporting only the vaguest flashbacks (but no real memory) of the night before.

Moral: Don’t EVER drink while taking drugs... prescribed or otherwise.

Case 3.
What a girl wanted: Love… even the tainted kind... so I let a married man slip his hand inside my bra as my friend drove. When we got to his place to drop him off, I wasted no time in jumping out of the car after he offered to take me home as I lived nearby. I followed him inside, upstairs and into the bedroom to get his car keys.

Resulting chaos: I had an affair with a married man and ended up becoming a home wrecker; he left her for me... only to break my heart later.

Moral: What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder (Mark 10:9).

Which is my lie?


*UPDATED on 07/02/2009*... specifically to hold off the two hell hounds at my heels (i.e. my dearest Afrobabe and the lovely Avartsy)… the answer is now below in inviso text:

Answer: Case 3 is the lie (truth is I told 2 truths followed by one lie… so I am not really a rule breaker afterall ;-P)

I never had any sort of an affair with Serb. I’ve never seen him since that night we dropped him off. I did hear that at the time he was trying to ‘cop a feel’, his loving wife had left for London to give birth to his 2nd child... *shakes head & sighs*... may that never be my portion.

I hope and pray that the only married man that I will ever follow into the bedroom will be mine.


Jayjazzy 27 January 2009 at 12:36  

am thoroughly lost even though am first.... haha ha

aloted 27 January 2009 at 12:47  

i guess we are suppose to watch the video to understand this post, right?

unfortunately i am at work so cant watch it...

hope u good?

Jay 27 January 2009 at 13:39  

darn!! these FBI agents in my office won't allow me watch the video...

Will come bk laters to comment proper

ShonaVixen 27 January 2009 at 13:51  

hmmm so the lie is numbeeeer eerrr 3??..hey m just guessing, can't watch the video @ work though..m hoping its not in Yoruba..lol..

Shubby Doo 27 January 2009 at 16:43  

@jayjazzy & aloted - i was still updating this with the 2 truths and 1 lie bit then...hoping it makes more sense now

I fine thanks aloted. how are you?

@jarrai - tell me about it...at work there is no streaming whatsoever allowed

@shonavixen - no it isn't but the best bits isn't all sub-titled... hopefully you will get the jist watching it...

mizchif 27 January 2009 at 16:56  

You just had to make ur own meme very difficult abi?

Well,i pick number 3 as d lie, i.e the married man story.

Anonymous,  27 January 2009 at 17:07  

I'd say no.3 is the lie

aloted 27 January 2009 at 17:09  

lol...why u dey post unfinished post..was busy wondering wat u were going on about..lol..

ah nawa o..number 3 is the lie

Allied 27 January 2009 at 17:28  

I can’t watch the video because I am at work right now...

Is it true that most Nigerian men won’t go down south? Someone told me that... this is really bad if its turns out to be true...

I think 1&2 is true and u know someone that 3 happened too...

U have to go back to my blog and leave a proper comment. The moral or koko of the story is not a mother's love oh...

Look at the similarities in their dreams, there is a lesson i was trying convey

Allied 27 January 2009 at 17:28  

My email is allied_genesis@yahoo.com

bumight 27 January 2009 at 18:16  

duh! case 2 is the lie!

Nigerian Drama Queen 27 January 2009 at 18:42  

You this babe you sabi blow grammer sha! Ah ah, see "butterfly effect", "unrealistic sensitive dependence", etc...all to say you will not be tagging anyone! LOL!!!

I must say, of all the "2truths, 1lie ('s)" that I have read, this has been my favorite by far. Hmmm i'm stuck between 2+3. I'll pick 3 as the lie...

PS: Thanks for not tagging anyone! I've been tagged by God knows how many people to do this thing and I hate doing memes!!!!

Ms Sula 27 January 2009 at 19:46  

You're one special chica!

I wish I understood Yoruba :(...

Anyways, I think Case 3 is the lie. I just don't seem to picture it... Or maybe Case 2? As you seem like a very careful girl....

Arghhh! I don't know. Ok let me stick to my gun and say Case 3 is the lie.

How's the London cold treating you hon?

Miss Definitely Maybe 27 January 2009 at 20:17  

I think number 3 is a lie

number 1 and 2

have been there before

seamstress 27 January 2009 at 21:05  

lol@ video...baba suwe is not playing fair at all!!!!!lmao

Number 3 is the lie..

Jay 27 January 2009 at 21:08  

hahahahaah...selfish baba suwe, why won't he just lick the woman lmao!!! Very funny.

Me thinks numero 3 is the lie...

Anonymous,  27 January 2009 at 21:48  

When one is smart it becomes difficult for them to lie; same reason why, they never do anything 'cos they were unconsciously induced?

FineBoy Agbero 27 January 2009 at 21:48  

wow, i think they are all true o... and baba Suwe is a real bastard!

Shubby Doo 27 January 2009 at 22:08  

@marjoram – hmmm… maybe!

@aloted - pele... ma binu jo

@allied - I’ve been back to yours... & commented 3 times now on the same post...thanks for the breakdown… like the fact that the moral of baba suwe’s story is kinda like the same as yours… great minds or what?!!!

there is an aspect of truth in all the cases... but one really is a lie in its entirety

thanks will e-mail you… soon-ish

@bumight - lol...how come you seem so certain...hmmm

@NDQ - it is the 1st time i've done this tagging thing... if i did not hate the idea of them so much i would have tagged you o! and Allied and Ms Sula and UCS and Miss DM and Afrobabe... whoops did i just tag you guys...just joking hun...i really am not tagging anybody...i hate the notion of Memes and they don't fit in well with the pupose of this blog...only did this one because it worked well with my Sex & Lies series

@ms sula - i wish i could speak french like you...i'm hoping one day i will...not been in London for over 2 wks now...shame cos i actually missed seeing Reverie last fri and sat... he'd flown in2 london just for the w/e... i spoke to him soon after he landed... well technically he was at his sister's place where he headed to str8 from the airport... *sighs*...he sounded knackered (poor thing)... i reminded him that i still owed him a massage...which caused us both to chuckle...i wonder why...hmmm ;-)

how are you? what is it like in Houston, texas... btw how is your training going hun... keep me posted pls

@miss DM – like I said to allied, there is an aspect of truth in all the cases... you think it's number 3 eh?!...the fact that you've experienced 2 out of 3 cases cements what i keep saying...u and me are peas in a pod...

@seamstress - can you imagine?!!!...she is servicing him as such but baba suwe just no wan gree do his own...guess it is true what they say...all the money in the world can't buy baba suwe's gf happiness

@jarrai - i do agree...lol... the time spent arguing could have been better spent had he should just got down to business and made her a happy woman!

@rethots – perhaps…or maybe it just makes it easier to lie… to some

@FBA – na like dat person dey pass exam?… I say one na lie, you come say e be like say all of dem na true…

btw, I concur about baba suwe sha ;-)

Anonymous,  27 January 2009 at 22:34  

I did agree, i maintain that smart people are about the worst liars.

Buttercup 27 January 2009 at 22:35  

Cant view the video :( ...its amazing how a moral can be brought out from any situation..

Love how u did ur tag....i think case 2 is the lie..

Hey shubby!!!

Saved Girl 27 January 2009 at 22:46  

wow. btw, like your blog.

Afrobabe 27 January 2009 at 22:59  

lmao...gosh, why is his face so dark...hope it was painted...

the guy is very silly, says his mouth will look older than the rest of him if he does it...lmao..

hmmm no 2 and 3 are hard oh...on one hard I cant imagine you blacked out and woke up in a hotel room, on the other hand dont want to believe you wrecked a home but then we are all foolish at some point so I'd say no 2 is the lie...and will stick to that answer like baba suwe, no matter what u say...

O'Dee 28 January 2009 at 08:55  

My mum loves baba suwe.

Number 3 is a lie.

N.I.M.M.O 28 January 2009 at 15:01  

Is any one of them supposed to be a lie? Are we not just supposed to read the story and enjoy?

OK. So I refuse to pick any as a lie. They are all true joo. (Well, I think so.)

Rebirth 28 January 2009 at 20:12  

no 2 is a lie......... back to watch that video again

SOLOMONSYDELLE 29 January 2009 at 00:52  

okay, please let Case 3 be the untruth.

bArOquE 29 January 2009 at 13:07  

I can only be wrong...Number 2's the lie

The Activist 29 January 2009 at 15:23  

Aren’t you so gifted? I love the way this was told. Hmmm your lie is number 2. I wanna be right

doug 29 January 2009 at 16:16  

The lie is number one. Its too simplistic to my mind. Why would the dude fall for that? And after breaking the first rule by cutting a pair of keys for you.LOL.

And if I'm wrong...serves you right...BACKSTABBER!!!!!

Shubby Doo 29 January 2009 at 18:33  

@doug – me ke?!...backstabber…so untrue…sweetheart I looked u right in the eyes as I watched you bleed…


breaking the 1st rule ke?...u no serious!!!

@standtall- the activist – thank u

@baroque – hedging your bets with your choice I see

@SSD – true or false, case 3 was definitely a very sorry affair

@funms-the rebirth – hope you enjoyed the flick

@NIMMO – how can u say u think all 3 are true…haba…u just do me ojoro with your comment…

@oluwadee – lol…she does…really?!...wow

@afro – baba suwe’s logic is crazy…but did u hear her 2? she wants him to lick it, so vigorously that he will have to use a toothpick to get the hairs out…ewwww…

@saved girl – thanks

@buttercup – awww, thanks B

@rethots – hmmm…I think maybe only when they consider themselves too smart…then they allow their own conceit nature to outwit them

Anonymous,  29 January 2009 at 22:30  

oh my gosh. That was seriously the funniest shit I have ever watched in my life. Dude said he wont lick the plate men. chei, the man does not want to go downtown o. My people see me see trouble o. Kin wa ma fi toothpick yo irun ni enu mi. Priceless! Chei what is the name of the movie, I wont to watch the whole thing.

7 30 January 2009 at 00:03  

Continuing in the theme of Nollywood.....gengengengen!!!!! as the dramatic drum-roll plays in the background.......I think the lie is #2.

The Activist 30 January 2009 at 08:56  

You are welcome. I am waiting to get the asnwer in your next post

Original Mgbeke 30 January 2009 at 22:04  

Hmmm let me say numero uno is the lie. I like the way you switched it up!...the Meme that is.

1 February 2009 at 11:25  

someday i shall watch naija movies. someday.

Shubby Doo 1 February 2009 at 13:33  

@temite - i think it is called iyawo america

@ebony - yay! i thought you'd left blogville for good...welcome back to mine dearie…

@standtall- ok

@007 dudu - lol...i wish

@original mgbeke - thank u

@the secret diary - lol...i suggest u start with jenifa

Avartsy 2 February 2009 at 03:56  

lmao...u're so wrong for this...too funny...hope all's well on ur end...shubby doo kan....

m1ke 2 February 2009 at 15:22  

1 and 2 na big lie. nice one though

Joy Isi Bewaji 2 February 2009 at 16:07  

this video is sloooooooow.
i might need to watch it some other time.

how r u?

Jinta 2 February 2009 at 20:02  

i hope no 1 is the lie, cos I cant imagine men still cut keys to their places. will they ever learn?

Remi, United Kingdom 4 February 2009 at 20:28  

lol.. oh dear.. the video is too funny for words! lol...
How are you doing girl... You no see snow for England? Wonderful .. belated 'white christmas' from God i've been calling it..

Have a great rest of the week..
much love

Flourishing Florida 5 February 2009 at 09:28  

i tot i commented here. ok. number 3

Emeka Amakeze 5 February 2009 at 20:00  

Let's say you don't have the heart to tell a complete lie and so, you made sure that the truth in all three is evident.

Afronuts 6 February 2009 at 16:04  

Kai! This is hard oh!

It has to be case 3.

But girl....u get am for some crazy experiences oh!

Afronuts 6 February 2009 at 16:04  

And I'm lovin this new layout!

Smaragd 6 February 2009 at 17:51  

wow! this is so ingenious! this is the most interesting two truths one lie i've read.

havent seen the Baba Suwe video though.

your truths : 1 & 3

your lie : 2

i have a feeling that i mixed these up but i dont care...lol

Avartsy 7 February 2009 at 02:43  

em, madam when are you going to tell the truth now enh???? anyway sha, i say no. 3 is the blatant lie....it better be the lie o cos that old man is just gross....c'mon chick...we need answers!!!

Afrobabe 7 February 2009 at 14:07  

Oya where is our answer??

Shubby Doo 7 February 2009 at 16:48  

@avartsy – lol…I know

@mike – 1 and 2…really?!...but that would be against the rules

@isi – I dey o! how body?

@jinta – obviously some still do but just for the trusting (or gullible) kind

@remi, UK – snow made me miss work on Thursday and Friday…yay! It is now causing havoc with my w/e plans to London…boo!

Have a great w/e darling

@fff – nah…this is your first…else feel free to blame blogger

@emeka amakeze – not really…the post is not about heart…just about sex, lies and chaos

@afronuts – lol @ crazy…in all honesty, the butterfly has been kind to me thus far

@smaragd – make sure you come back to watch it! It is 2 funny!

@avartsy – lol @ old man…married men are not all old now… haba…

my sista…I see with your first comment you wan do me wayo…glad you came back to give a proper answer :-)

@afrobabe AND avartsy - since you both came back to hound me...i have now included the answer (as inviso text) in2 this post.

one of you got it so wrong!!!...*playfully slaps afro...HARD*...lol

Avartsy 7 February 2009 at 21:02  

kolo girl, lmao....i knew it, i knew it...no.3 just had to be wrong...old man or not, the way you just wrote he slipped his hand, just gave me images of a greasy, pudgy hand, like one of those igbo dudes that say their tinted windows make the car 'night all round'...i figured u're too classy for sth like that...
AMI O...may the only married man whose room u enter be ur own...ami loruko Jesu!!!!! Afrobabe's going to be mad at u now!!! lol...

Afrobabe 8 February 2009 at 08:00  

You not only deny me the opportunity to yell second but then go on to print it in INVISIBLE CYBER INK!!! Then slap me with what was supposed to be the wrong answer...mcheeeewww...so u never got naughty with any married man huh...which means you got dead drunk and didnt remember jack...hmmmm your new post topic I think!!!

Avartsy...can u imagine she even slapped me...

Anonymous,  8 February 2009 at 08:16  

well....I understood quite clear what he was saying and he aint liking ish tonight....lol

hmmm, just wondering!!

Shubby Doo 8 February 2009 at 11:00  

@avartsy - AMEN my sista...

hmmm... wrt these igbo dudes...is that experience talking?!!!...if so pls share o!...lol

@afro - but sweetie I did it playfully now...and with a lot of love...lol...

oya sorry...no mind me jare...biko...

Case 2 happen many yrs ago...i was in safe hands really cos it was supposed to be a romantic w/e with spartan...I flew out to europe to see him...I remember us in the club, outside our hotel, in the hotel lift and finally us in the shower...the rest I don't remember but he tells me that he ended up having to clear up my puke off the bathroom floor after I made a mess, then crawled into bed and then passed out...not my best moment...

@oyin - true... so much so that baba suwe told his gf to go to america for it cos he aint doing it...lol

naijaleta 9 February 2009 at 22:36  

Which is the lie? No 3 is the lie. You've blogged about the first two before or haven't you?

Unknown 10 February 2009 at 11:43  

#2 is the lie. I'm too sure ;)

Jay 15 February 2009 at 15:39  

hey girl

i have come out or hiding but have changed url and name, swing by when u can

Jarrai-gambian girl

Buttercup 15 February 2009 at 21:58  

i cant find the answer!

Zayzee 16 February 2009 at 20:13  
This comment has been removed by the author.
Zayzee 16 February 2009 at 20:20  

where the answers now?

Buttercup 20 February 2009 at 16:30  

i sooooooo love the inviso text thing..damn, i wish i had IT skills!

sowee for thinking case 3 was true!

Toluwa 4 March 2009 at 20:52  

oh crap! this was hilarious! am laffing to myself..gotta share this on FB! lol!

juiceegal 16 April 2009 at 13:48  

dis video is d ish mehn.......i onli just wrote a post bout it ystday nd 2day i stumbled upon ur blog......nice blog tho...1st tym here...xxx

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