Showing posts with label Naapali. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Naapali. Show all posts

Sunday, 5 October 2008

mãe

Thinking of what to write as a tribute to you I realised that I had no idea what I could say that would express my love for you.

I wanted to write something that told you of how much I have valued your contribution to my life but nothing I thought of seemed fitting enough because words are insufficient to describe all that you have done for me.

I have watched you suffer through so much.
I have watched you sacrifice so much.
You did all this not because you had to but because you chose to for the sake of your children.
As I read Ephesians 6:10-20, I prayed that your spirit is forever fortified with the whole Armour of God.

I want you to know that your children are okay because of you.
I want you to know that I am okay because of you.
I pray that you are now able to do as it says in the bible when you turn to 1 Peter 5:7.
It says that you should ‘cast all your anxiety on him because He cares for you.’

You are the mother that taught me early that great people sometimes fail but become great by acknowledging and learning from their failures. Most importantly I learnt from you that I should never let my failures get to me because I could remedy mistakes and shortcomings if I faced them head on with courage and compassion.

I grew up hearing directly from you about rights and wrongs. Like many daughters I grew up first seeking your approval, then trying to prove my independence. Now I am a little older, I realise the immense strength of character and humility you hold within you to put up with so much.

I can say whole heartedly that I am proud to be your daughter.
I can say I am truly blessed to be your child.

Today is your birthday.
Today I am jubilant with joy as I celebrate.
Today I sing the words of Psalm 95 as I give thanks to God for you.

‘O come, let us sing unto the LORD: let us make a joyful noise to the rock of our salvation.
Let us come before his presence with thanksgiving, and make a joyful noise unto him with psalms.
For the LORD is a great God, and a great King above all gods.
In his hand are the deep places of the earth: the strength of the hills is His also.
The sea is His, and He made it: and His hands formed the dry land.
O come, let us worship and bow down: let us kneel before the LORD our maker.’


When God thought of you as a Mother, it was a thought so rich, so deep, so divine and so full of soul; one that caused your beauty and power to be concieved.

As our mother you have shed our tears and feared our fears.
As our mother you have cared for our cares and laughed our laughs.
As our mother you have lived our joys and shared in all our hopes and dreams.

All that I am,
All that I hope to be,
I owe to you.

‘Happy 60th Birthday Mummy’.

p.s
Special thanks to Jaycee and Naapali. Albeit for different reasons... Hugs :-)

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Friday, 3 October 2008

serendipity

I am grateful for what I am. For what I have. Saying that, I need to get a new job.

For me it is about growth. I have been here too long. I choose to experience something different. It is time. However, I am just a little scared of leaving this one now. I guess with me it has to do with the fear of the unknown; which I'm not always good at facing... it has been known to cripple me... it is my pejorative... arghhhhh!

Don't get me wrong. Most of the time I do believe in me but at the moment I’m thinking ‘stay a while longer’. .. *Sigh*... Some of my rationale has to do with the uncertainty of the credit crunch... but part of me is like ‘who cares get a job back in Lagos’.

So in an effort to motivate myself, I am going to motivate others first... but in a completely different sector... simply bcos I can’t have you guys taking all the good jobs in engineering before I get back to Nigeria... lol

I'm talking... Finance

So moneymen (and women) in Nigeria, e-mail or send Minerva your CV:
info@minervarecruitment.com

or call:
+234 (0) 1 461 7265

The goddess of commerce has positions available in:
Investment banking
Capital markets
Retail and Risk management
Analysts
Research in fixed income and equity

For some, I hope serendipity has found you on your visit to this page.

p.s
Do check out Naapali's comment to this post on the 3 princes of serendip.

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Monday, 18 August 2008

crossroad blues

This post is dedicated to Naapali (doc since you say you have a compass and a map…I’d really like to know where you got those from so that I may source mine too and use them to avoid the hazards of the valleys).

Anyway… back to my post…

I will start with snowflakes… these are formed from tiny super-cooled cloud droplets as they freeze. Each one is approx 10μm (i.e. 10 microns) in diameter…delicate things don’t you think?… they have a geometry that is so intricate that each one is deemed unique… much like the human soul.

I have said before that within the House of Agbada Daggers I am Flying Snow (do you like the new profile pic btw?… I think it quite appropriate!)

Well sometimes I feel like a glacier formed from snow; a slow river of compacted ice made so because the years have forced so much air out of me. If that is truly the case then I hope I am like a tidewater glacier that flows back into the sea of life. However, I am scared that when I get there a piece of me will break off in the deep water and in doing so that iceberg might cause the water to explode upwards.

I came very close to exploding this weekend when somebody close to me lied to me. They looked into my eyes, then called God’s name and lied.

The lie could not hurt me but my heart bled for the one that he would keep hurting; as well as for the others that he would keep trying to hurt. That I cannot abide. To say my soul is not troubled about this… about what I am capable of doing to stop this… is untrue.

This weekend I realised that I was at a metaphorically juncture in my life because both the physical and abstract met. I saw the devil in his eyes and he offered me a deal but I refused to trade in my soul or theirs. He told me that he would release the pain I have carried for too long so that Flying Snow would not become as cold and hard as ice.

Good Shepherd with you there is no pain… whatever there is here in this life… is not everlasting… that comes after.

So knowing this to be true, how could I suddenly accept a deal with the devil to become the King of the Delta Blues?… I could not. I did not. I will not. What did I do?… I simply chose to sing my ordinary version of the crossroad blues. For now, that is the small thing that I can do to ward him off; in doing so I have committed my worries and fears to God.

So here I am… at an intersection of roads…is there a better way to say that?… hmmm… I think there is… I am at a crossroad in life and I want to continue and embark on my own path. In doing so I feel like I am betraying another because I know I must leave the old behind. Only then can I return to it; only then can I understand more about the beauty of ages.

Good Shepherd I am looking to you (as I have always have) to guide me on this path.

Besides… you know I hate the idea of a satellite navigation systems simply because someone once told me that ‘women can’t read maps’… I will not be beaten by that statement… yes, I admit that I have gotten lost plenty of times; within cities, en route to cities, en route in life. Mostly because I have not trusted myself. This lack of self belief somtimes causes me to take a left or right turn much too early when I should have just continued forward. Goodness me, I even remember my delight at actually being able to drive on my own only to find out that I had missed my exit at a roundabout and was already halfway to Liverpool instead of Manchester.

Good Shepherd I want you to know that I will not stop trying to master how to read that map.

I will continue trying to drive through life without the devil on my shoulder, whispering where to go to me or telling me when to change gears … so what if I failed my driving test two times before… I passed it the third time. So what if I crashed the company hire car into the car park gates as I tried to reverse out… I believe that that is what car insurance is for.

My soul is insured through you. I smile now as I remember crying late that night when I was driving. I had followed diversion upon diversion not really knowing where they were taking me. I had been on the road for nearly 8 hours. It was close to midnight. I was tired and lost…very certain I would drive into a ditch cloaked in darkness. I calmed myself down and prayed. I decided to risk it and take the next turning and suddenly I stumbled upon a hotel. They had no spare room but the lady at the desk called another hotel about 5 miles away and organised a room for me. There is where I laid my head to sleep that night. It was a peaceful sleep for I knew that:

‘... thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff, they comfort me...’ Psalm 23

I will continue my best on this path… Yes I know I drive a little too fast for your liking at times… darn, I even admit to taking part in those unofficial races on the motorway. Er… I guess I am also a little too impatient at other times… I have used the inside lane to undertake in the past and you've seen me overtake those slow moving tractors on narrow country lanes… and perhaps once or twice I have very stupidly tried to out manoeuvre another on a blind summit.

Good Shepherd thank you for always being there with me and stopping me from endangering others and myself.

I have discovered that it is important to pace myself… the key is to learn from my mistakes and grow into that which I know myself to be … as a result I am a better driver… my map reading is coming along too :-)

Good Shepherd I choose you. Always.

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