trick modes

Reverie: You are going to be in so much trouble you know.
Shubby Doo: Why?
Reverie: They already think something happened between us.
Shubby Doo: Why would they?
Reverie: That time you gave me a massage.
Shubby Doo: oh!

‘Rewind’ back to that Easter Sunday. Reverie had been in a playful mood at the beach. In the pool, I caught a glimpse of something moving in the corner of my right eye. I realised too late that it was him underwater as he grabbed my ankles and pulled me under.

When we both re-surfaced for air, he started pulling me by my waist towards the deep end. Now he wore a mischievous grin, in addition to his togs. I recognised this as my ‘cue’ so I threw my arms around his neck and held on to him too. I was amused… he had assumed wrongly that I couldn’t swim… hmmm… interesting!

Shubby Doo: What are you doing?
Reverie: Nothing.
Shubby Doo: I can swim you know.

As if to test me, he let go and swam away. I was tempted to feign panic… to start throwing my arms in the air… to start begging to be rescued. I didn’t. I was already aware of the crowd of people watching us. Instead I swam towards him smiling. As I got nearer, I reached out and started to take his face into my hands... for a caress perhaps. As he let his guard down, I jumped up and plunged his head under the water. Laughing, this time, I swam away.

Rosetta: What was that between you and Reverie in the pool?
Shubby Doo: He thought I couldn’t swim.
Rosetta: And?
Shubby Doo: And nothing.
Rosetta: Well it sure didn’t look like nothing to me and everybody else watching.

I ‘paused’ for thought at my words... had they been an ‘empty speech act’? Had I expressed something false? Granted, an underlying chemistry had always been there between us but neither Reverie or I had ever made it a big deal. We were family friends first. I tried to dismiss them but her words kept niggling at the back of my mind. I was now a little uncomfortable as I ‘re-played’ an earlier conversation in my head.

Reverie: Nope, I’m not taking you to the beach.
Shubby Doo: Please.
Reverie: Hmmm…ok but in exchange for a massage?
Shubby Doo: Fine.
Reverie: I’ll be there in 10mins. Be ready.

I hadn’t been serious when I had said yes but apparently he was. He made it quite clear that there was no way he was going to let me to renege on our deal.

From the beach we went to Churrascos with the others to grab a bite to eat and then it was back to his. After the Terminator 3 DVD finished I woke him up and asked him to take me back home. As he dropped me off he told me he’d be back to pick me up in 30mins; we were going clubbing. After that it was back to his again. We drank vodka shots, looked at his Christmas pictures and swapped stories. Finally, we went upstairs to his room. He took off his clothes and got on the bed, face down, in just his boxers. I straddled him, applied the oil and worked his body. It was just a back massage… honestly that's all… but I ended up spending the night there.

As if someone had suddenly pressed ‘play’, my mind jolted back to the present.

Shubby Doo: You told them nothing happened right?!
Reverie: Yep… but they don’t believe me.

I sighed. I wished I could ‘fast forward’ into the future again… I needed to know if the current premise of our relationship would always hold true. Was holding on to it ‘delusional’ or was it a ‘limiting belief’ which inhibited exploration? I remembered I was the ‘child of a dream’ which had revealed Reverie... but now I was no longer sure which of two ‘modifiers’ accompanied its inevitability... was it scepticism or gullibility?

I made up my mind there and then to ‘practice believing’; to ‘exercise faith’. However, in the car, I stayed silent in my resolve.

It was now after 6am on New Years Day and Reverie was driving me back home. To his.