Friday, 17 April 2009

fair is foul and foul is fair

Resturant, London. August 2006
‘I wish I could pay for lunch but you know I’m not working.’
So I Paid.
‘He likes you but I want you to know that he invited me over to his place but I didn’t go. I said it was because my mother is in town.’
So I shook my head.

Café, London. August 2006
‘OMG, I told him and his friend that you were seeing someone but he had no right to call you in anger about it. I’m happy you told him off.’
So I sighed.
‘He and I got talking and I think we clicked. Maybe I understand him more than you do.’
So I nodded in agreement.
‘That night, he walked me home and we had this moment where we nearly kissed.’
So I choked back the laughter and smiled.
‘I found out that he and Terry slept together that night that he walked me home. He went back for her. She knew he liked me. What a bitch!!!’
So I sympathised.

Work. September 2006
‘Come with me to Lyon. It’s my friend’s wedding.’
So I agreed.
‘It’s not that I cannot afford it but can’t you book my ticket with your air miles?’
So I made up an excuse and declined.
‘Well I told him we were going on holiday but I don’t know why he’d want to call you last night.’
So I told her it was to wish me journey’s mercies.

Airport, London. October 2006
‘The airline didn’t fly my luggage out on my flight.’
So I confirmed that it was on my flight and called her back.

Airport, Lyon. October 2006
‘You know that calling you about my luggage finished my credit’.
So I told her about roaming charges.

Hotel, Lyon. October 2006
‘I know we are sharing but are you going to pay for the hotel for both nights?’
So I said no and watched as she begrudgingly paid for the second night.
‘Thanks for letting me use your phone. I was going to call my brother because I need credit but I can’t get through. I am going to call Cee Cee to help me top up my credit. She is the one true friend I can rely on.’
So I rolled my eyes.
‘I am running so late. I thought we had plenty of time. I can’t believe I didn’t re-set the time when I arrived in Lyon. I’ll just jump in the shower and then we can go.’
So I waited.

Train Station, Lyon. October 2006
‘The train is too crowded. The next one will be too late to make the wedding. It isn’t worth going there just for the reception. Oh well I tried. It’s her fault for not sorting out things properly for the wedding.’
So I kept quiet.

Resturant, Lyon. October 2006
‘Who is calling you? Is it him?’
So I showed her that it was.
‘He is being a real asshole. I’m so done with him.’
So I frowned, knowing full well that she wasn’t.
‘Do me a favour and delete his number so I won’t be tempted to ask you for it.’
So I deleted it because I knew she didn’t want me calling him.

Hotel, Lyon. October 2006
‘I can’t find my money. I can't understand where it could have gone’
So I showed her my purse only contained plastic money.
‘Let me tell you something. It's not nice to hear you go on about stuff you've bought when I don't have money.’
So I stared at her in disbelief and then walked out to cure my blues with more retail therapy.

In the car, London. January 2007
Maizah: Shubby Doo, do you know that even though he refuses to date her publicly, she still cooks for him every week, packs it in plastic and carries the food to his house.
Shubby Doo: The whole thing is off but I’ve told her I want no part in the friendship she has with him.

Maizah: You know Hafizah has been bitching about you behind your back; that she can’t talk to you about him.
Shubby Doo: She is at his house now. She told me not to tell you. Sad thing is it is not us she is fooling but herself. She will be her own undoing.

Maizah: You know we fought about you. I told her that she was out of order about the things she was saying.
Shubby Doo: I’m not surprised at her at all. Please o!...What has she been saying?
Maizah: Things like you finished her cash in Lyon.
Shubby Doo: Hahaha…abeg what cash?!!! I'm always picking up the tab. I simply stood my ground about the hotel. She has been bitching about you too. Apparently, you have an attitude problem because you argue with her anyhow and don’t give her the respect she deserves as she is 2 years your senior. I was like haba...relax!!! I mean I know we all went to school together but you guys are family friends... despite all her nonsense nobody has Hafizah's back like you do Maizah.
Maizah: I guess Macbeth's witches were right; ‘...fair is foul and foul is fair...’

So we laughed.


Tigeress 17 April 2009 at 13:35  

finally!!! it's been a while. hehehehehe. let me go and read.

TheAfroBeat 17 April 2009 at 13:52  

with friends like this, who needs enemies!!! Sometimes you sit and wonder how there can be so much disparity in how people (of seemingly similar backgrounds) were raised. I guess it all boils down to character.

How've you been? Credit crunch not getting you down i hope?

Bibi 17 April 2009 at 14:30  

Na wa o! I had to read the story twice before I could get it. That gal has issues. Serious ones.

Tigeress 17 April 2009 at 14:34  

Ok........i'm wondering why this girl is ur friend? Put a distance. She's just wroooooooonnnnnngggg!!!

Original Mgbeke 17 April 2009 at 14:36  

Abi o, with friends like that who needs enemies? The chick just seems like someone who would drain a poor soul's energy. Make she carry go jare.

NaijaBabe 17 April 2009 at 17:33  


Roc 17 April 2009 at 17:58  

A peek into the dark dark world of female friendships..

They say a dog is a man's best friend..

So I'll be buying an German Sheperd tomorrow.. Better yet, I'll put in an early request with Santa...

Roc 17 April 2009 at 17:59  

PS.. Shubby Dubby Doo!!!

Got some trips I been planning to some exotic locations..

Any chance we can sort something out on that airmiles thingie you got..?

Hey! What are friends for? :-D

Confessions of a London gal 17 April 2009 at 18:06  

Females and Drama...2 best friends!

There seems to be a lot of these kinda friends going around these days! At least you dint let her get away with it...!

Shubby Doo 17 April 2009 at 19:18  

@tigeress - congrats o!

@tAB - *SMH* it definitely did boil down to character

fine. thanks for asking...managing to survive it o!...just!

how are u?

@bibi - true talk!

@tigeress - i did o! I purposely lost touch with her in jan 2007

@original mgbeke - funny i thought the same thing when i was going thru this

@carameld - lol

@vixenchick - LMAO...

@naijababe - lol

@rocnaija - careful what u wish for cause it might come back to bite u on the arse!!! lol

ro-co-co - sweetie i have 2 holidays booked for next month...1 is going skydiving again...come with us...if u pay for the jump, the 5 star hotels, the hire car, club, champagne and food for us (4 of us including u)...u can have my air miles for one of your! ;-)

@COaLG - she did for a while but honestly 6 months was all i could handle...

ShonaVixen 17 April 2009 at 21:00  

Girl, I missed you are u doing??
Shubby glad you stood up to her and said no...what sort of friend is that???

bumight 17 April 2009 at 23:31  

i like the way youu stood your ground abou the hotel thingy and stuff, cos its friends like these that'll milk you dry and still talk trash about you behind your back!

BSNC 18 April 2009 at 02:18  

the chic has serious wa o

ibiluv 18 April 2009 at 06:36  

she is just crazy and you know how to handle her

doug 18 April 2009 at 08:04  

I think you need to reassess your relationship with her...unless of course there are other things about her that make the relationship worth keeping.

Just wanted you to know I'm fine. Will be back in due time...but not quite yet...


How have you been? :)

LoloBloggs 18 April 2009 at 10:42  

Girls girls girls....I think the phrase is 'boopsing'! Some girls do not discriminate and will mash up their friends as much as they would raid the pockets and sentiments of a man.....good riddance to utter nonsense! KMT!

Afrobabe 18 April 2009 at 12:18  

A new spin to bitchy friends??

Anonymous,  18 April 2009 at 16:49  

Applause, applause, applause......

"‘Do me a favour and delete his number so I won’t be tempted to ask you for it.’" Touche. (oops, dumb).

Anonymous,  19 April 2009 at 23:54  

hmmn true say...true say....never met anyone like that in my life...damn I admire the patience with which you dealt with her...

Jay 20 April 2009 at 13:05  

jeez...who needs enemies with pals like this

.. 20 April 2009 at 15:13  

There is a limit definitely to what we as individuals can endure at the hands of those who masquerade themselves as friends...and pretend to habour our best interests in the deep recesses of their hearts...

How are you Dear??

Buttercup 21 April 2009 at 03:11  

what concluded her madness for me was the part she asked u to delete his number so she wudnt ask for, seriously????????

seems like the meaning of friendship to her is bitching and extortion..

Shubby Doo 21 April 2009 at 10:06  

@shonavixen – kind? Hmmm…the ‘boopsing trickster’ kind maybe?…lol

missed u too girl…can’t wait to party with you guys on the May Day bank holiday

@bumight – it had to be done… honestly I couldn’t help but smile when she pulled out her credit card…

@BSNC – lol…I think that’s putting it mildly

@ibiluv – it’s a shame sha…real friends should not need to be ‘handled’…

@doug – already did that 2 years ago :-) Thanks for the advice sha!

ok I hear u but take care of u in the meantime

@lolobloggs – lol@ boopsing…with guys and girls alike... my mouth dropped when at first she started trying it on with one of his friends who was married with 2 kids …when I heard the other guy wanted her to be his mistress…I was like no…stop please…as far as I know she did… but only because he wouldn’t buy her a pearl ring…she cursed him out for that...SMDH…

@afrobabe – lol…new spin? naaaa…more like ‘age old shafting’ jare!

@rethots - In the end i think the correct expression was 'pas touché' ;-)

@chari – friendship is a virtue because it makes us better people…honestly I tried to look beyond her ish…when I walked away it was with no regrets

@wordmerchant – ‘true friends are like diamonds, precious and rare. false friends are like leaves, found everywhere.’

@rose – very true… like Eleanor Roosevelt said ‘many people will walk in and out of your life, but only true friends will leave footprints in your heart’…she didn’t

i’m fine thanks sweetie…& u?

@buttercup – hahaha…I saw her coming from the time she told me she understood him more than me and they nearly kissed…What Terry did to her was what she did to me...only thing with me was I was never into the guy so I deleted his number so that she would realise that it wasn’t me stopping them from being together…

I’m fine thanks. How are u doing?…missing chari I know but soon those tears will be joyful ones. Amen ;-)

@FBA – lol…not quite but I do admire Maizah for trying to keep her on the level…like Bernard Meltzer says ‘a true friend is someone who thinks that you are a good egg even though he knows that you are slightly cracked’ =D

Nigerian Drama Queen 21 April 2009 at 14:02  

So it is clear: she definately deserves to be cutt off...but to quote Shakespeare:
"yet do I fear thy nature;
It is too full o' the milk of human kindness."

Shubby Doo 21 April 2009 at 15:33  

@NDQ – trust u to notice the real link between this post and the fact that Macbeth is a tale of the desire for power and the betrayal of loyalty…I wish I could agree with your comment and say thank u but I can’t quite… so having studied Macbeth @ school several of its quotes come to mind which i will use in my response 2 u…

I did what I did because ‘…I bear a charmed life...’ ... then I cottoned on to the fact that hers was to ‘Look like the innocent flower, but be the serpent under 't…’

So all the while I kept thinking ‘…Nay, had I power, I should Pour the sweet milk of concord into hell, Uproar the universal peace, confound All unity on earth…’ & you know what? in the end I did… we all did…we took the power away from her…but not in a nasty way…Cee Cee, Maizah and I talked it out, then got ready to confront her about what she had been saying…when Hafizah realised her plan had back fired...she crawled back under her rock…

For all her 2 face trickery she forgot the simply little fact that ‘…There's no art To find the mind's construction in the face...’ so it is easy to see when ‘…There's daggers in men's smiles…’ ;-)

Rita 21 April 2009 at 16:11  

Now I remember why some of my friends insist on having guys as friends...

When one person is complaining about everyone, i guess it is time for the person to look inward...

Rayo 21 April 2009 at 16:48  

first, i love how u wrote this. 2nd, y keep such around u?

Tyger 21 April 2009 at 21:25  

we all have this inglorious friends! the thing that makes me wonder is why we never try to loose them... sucks!

Buttercup 21 April 2009 at 21:25  

thank God u've cut off ties with her..

im good o...awww, thanks :)

Roc 22 April 2009 at 00:36  

"the jump, the 5 star hotels, the hire car, club, champagne and food for 4 of us"...

Only???!! You no even hard sef..

What's the second trip..?
Roc don't do small measures.. ;-)

Smaragd 22 April 2009 at 08:03  

yay! she's back and better.

well, what can i say? those who gossip to u gossip about u babe, that's the way it is mehn.

I like the fact that u stood ur ground on a couple of occasions. that's the spirit.

aloted 22 April 2009 at 12:53  

orisirisi...women for u!

Shubby Doo 22 April 2009 at 15:07  

@rita – how very true…but know that some guy friends have their own ish 2…to avoid this palaver… people should just treat others how they would like to be treated in the same/similar situation… simple

@rayo – thank u…we went to school together , then lost touch, only to strike up our friendship again after university…it didn’t last…

@tyger – lol…when u figure out why… please let me know o!

@buttercup - ;-)

@rocnaija – you say u don’t do small measures… *smiles devilishly*… u know what?!!!... I’m starting to like u more and more already…ok o! since u put it like that then you’re invited to both my all expenses paid trips in May…come join me skydiving, sightseeing, partying or just chilling out on the beach…like I said u are welcome so long as you know u are paying for ALL my expenses too :-P

I no be ole o…me 2 I just wan try enjoy awoof small!!!

U better no be all mouth o!…come to think of it…I remember your cunning linguist post…*blushes* ;-)

@smaragd – awww thanks sweetie…true talk…true talk indeed

@aloted – abi o!

ManCee 23 April 2009 at 01:30  



OK, for old times for her shrink sessions. I wont mind chipping in. My good deed for the week.

Carlang 23 April 2009 at 10:51  

What an interesting life you live.

Hello dear,
I had to stop by to apologize.
My last post is a fictional account. I should have mentioned that in the beginning.
Thanks for the concern though.
It really meant a lot to me.

Loved the creativity in your latest post.
Too bad you didn't use it with your "friend."
Slaps are over rated but they do have their occasional benefits!

Unknown 23 April 2009 at 13:20  

She's quite talented. Such rare gifts are hard to come by.Lol!

True "fair is foul and foul is fair"

The Activist 23 April 2009 at 13:37  

Hi, stop by my blog to read what Jaycee said about you in her interview. Thanks

Carlang 23 April 2009 at 22:00  

I was off course referring to both posts.

You slapped me?
You do me a great disservice.

I guess it is true what they say..
No good deed goes unpunished!

Chiamaka 25 April 2009 at 16:30  

did you call her friend.i know there a lots of good girls, but in real life, i try to manage without female friends. thanks for coming by

Chiamaka 25 April 2009 at 16:30  

did you call her friend.i know there a lots of good girls, but in real life, i try to manage without female friends. thanks for coming by

Miss Definitely Maybe 28 April 2009 at 23:33  

Girl you are soooooo patient
I would have been long done with her stupid ass long before Lyons

SouLBoutiQue 29 April 2009 at 02:22  

Wow You are strong, and have patience. Because me?! Ag!?! I couldn't do it! Omo that babe has issues, as in serious ones!

Olufunke 29 April 2009 at 10:58  

I enjoyed reading this post
I like the way you wrote this.

Its good you started to stand your ground and not allow her use you.

You know true, real and faithful friends are hard to come by

I know lady's prefer to have guys as friends and people complain about female friendships...the truth is that female friendships are a bit complex, but when the people involved are sincere, have same lifestyle, same views about life and have a heart of God, you will have best of friendships! sisters (there are things male friends just cannot do for a sister!)

I thank God He blessed me with very good female friends(we have our issues too) but my life has been full because of them!

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